Stranger, deftly jumping over the chocolate bars scattered all over the tent, approaches the jukebox. He looks at the words "OUT OF ORDER" with a straight face, then makes a few quick hand movements over the machine. The inscription changes to "WORKING. Insert a coin.” He reaches into his pocket to take out a small moonstone. He looks at it thoughtfully for a moment. He closes it in his clenched hand, shakes it for a moment, and then takes a tiny silver coin from his hand. He puts it into the machine, selects and presses the button marked "Demis Roussos". The old-fashioned emitter at the top of the machine buzzes and hums for a while, then warms up and a column of light shoots into the air, creating a clear hologram of a large, bearded man in an ancient Greek shirt. The man begins to sing with husky voice a dark tales of the future...

No Worries Doc, just deal with your problem, the giveaway can wait honestly, you can even delay it if you want to

J4CKY CH4N's performance disturbs me. First he abused a dog then he created sentient toasters. We've all played Fallout New Vegas to know where this is going; bot's trying to make an army of killer toasters.
So he's getting a 5, because I for one welcome our new robot overlords.

Poor ZAP couldn't get a break. Poor bloke just wanted a snack and got electrocuted for his troubles. So he gets a 4 as a pity score.

Hello, cats, good people, and other folks. I have been asked by the one true God Clown to score the clowning about of Subject 36 versus El Ingenioso Don Sombrero Tenebroso.

Bio Posts:
Subject 36: Post #71
El Ingenioso Don Sombrero Tenebroso: #84


Clown Battle: Post #329


Subject 36: Sore 4
He tries really hard to do normal clowning stuff, but his instincts are just flat out murder. The fact that clown acts are normally watched and enjoyed by children had me given him a three. I gave him a bonus point (boosting him to four) for the murdering about involving corrupt politicians thus nobody of value. It still remains that his act is going to be full on nightmare fuel, and the flower squiring water isn't going to minimize that.

El Ingenioso Don Sombrero Tenebroso: Score 5
His performance can be safely enjoyed by individuals of all ages, and the fact that he's juggling blindfolded is just impressive. There's a bit of suspense in that he juggled live pigs, but they all appeared to be happy and unharmed. Any distress on the part of the juggler would be easily obscured by his hat and loud circus music.

Take your time Doc, no hurry, we can wait. :)

And Happy Holidays everyone!

Hey Doc, sorry to hear about real life. Take the time you need to care for yourself, that's what is important. Good luck.

(44) Greg approaches a barbecue in a corner of the tent. With a straight face he says "For my latest trick I will make all your cooked meats disappear in one go". He starts hacking as if coughing up a furball but instead he produces a sword from inside his gullet.
He then proceeds to skewer all the meats onto the sword before swallowing it whole. The cook applauds before stopping with a frown on his face "Hey, wait a minute..."
Greg calmly walks off looking for his car, Mr Whuffles.

A space marine with a blank expression walks through the tent. He approaches a cheese vendor and takes a wheel of cheddar. The vendor, of course, is not happy with this and starts to protest. The marine, he thinks his name is John but he doesn't think much at all anymore, punches the vendor, knocking him out and hands the cheese to (41) Chris, a grey mouse sat on his shoulder.
Two security guards watch all this unfold but when John turns his lifeless gaze onto them, they turn away whistling as if nothing has happened.

Greg drives around until he sees three swords drop from above. He climbs up to meet them and juggles them with ease.
He thinks to do a bit of sword swallowing to please the crowd but as he is about to slide the first down his throat, an evil face appears on its blade and it transforms into an axe.
The other two swords do exactly the same and Greg has to quickly get one of his own swords out of storage in his stomach and fight the three axes as he balances on top of a moving car.
Eventually he beats the malevolent axes into submission and stands sweating as the crowd gives him a big cheer.

Chris drives Snookums (John is doing the actual driving) when he looks up in puzzlement at three black rats falling from the sky.
On the marines shoulder, he clambers onto the car roof and proceeds to juggle them. He feels a series of intrusions into John's mind and realises that the rats have the same telepathic abilities as him and are attempting to wrest control of the marine away.
Chris fights valiantly, while making sure to keep the juggling act going, but ultimately can't compete with three minds simultaneously.
At first he is crestfallen at losing control of John until he notices an expressionless Umber Hulk observing from the side.
He easily dominates the beasts mind and decides to give the creature the name of John, as he can't be bothered to remember another name.
Chris squeals with delight when he probes its primitive brain only to find out that its dream is to be a cheese taster at a cheese factory.

Duties and health always come first, thank you for these very entertaining posts, I'll just read them again. :D I would have run out of steam and ideas after a third of the posts. :)

Stay healthy Doc and enjoy the Christmas season as much as you can.

As her turn approaches, Kisha tries to keep her nervousness in check by making sure she sparkles and dazzles as much as she possibly can, even making it sound like bells jingle with each of her rapid wing beats. And she also rehearses the force spells she prepared, for any objects larger than her tiny hands that she'll have to juggle. She should be ready, but she keeps thinking about some of the acts that ended up looking more like they'd belong in the arena, especially when they included beings or, well, things that were there too, and hopes that hers and her partner's won'd turn out like that too. She'll be ready for that too, she's always ready for that, but maybe she won't have to show it.

https://www.gog.com/forum/general/giveaway_docs_intergalactic_clown_school/post358

battle of the weird

Zhabokhrobae was underwhelming and gross, but competently juggling apparently, how the guy eats those pies? Score is 4 but only because of the mystery of how the heck can he juggle and eat while having no mouth

Tenty also weird, but competent eater even if that wasn't exactly the goal, creative way to uhhh drive a car, I guess, the score is 4 because there were no casualties during the performance, unlike what Zhabokhrobae did with the fart

Zhabokhrobae 4 - Tenty 4. It's a tie, because both performances were completely impossible to rate, but if there was to be a single winner then Zhabokhrobae gets fart penalty. RIP Abdullah and the audience

A trail of glitter is left floating in the air by the diminutive (76) Kisha, the tricksy pixie. She is eager to see her car and stops in front of Snookums with her mouth open "Wow, he's huge!"
Snookums winks one of his headlights at her then shrinks down to such a small size, even Kisha struggles to fit inside.

(2) Walden blinks his eyes and looks around himself in puzzlement. One minute he was walking England's green and pleasant land, the next he is in a circus tent, on a strange planet, surrounded by even stranger creatures.
Maybe this audience won't find his stand-up routine so boring?
"How do you put a baby alien to sleep?" he says.
"You rocket."
He laughs to himself.
"What do you get when you cross an alien and something white and fluffy?"
"A martian-mallow!"
A puffy, white Martian pipes up "Hey! I find that offensive! So do my 56 brothers!"
Walden sees 57 of the aliens glaring angrily at him and nervously says "Oh, is that my car over there? Must dash, cya!" and he runs over to where Mr Whuffles is parked.

Kisha drives with the skill of a racing driver as she weaves in and out of beings legs (and other appendages) that are criss-crossing the tent, unaware of her presence.
Three ice cream cones sucking on dummies fall from above and she flies up to meet and juggle them, casting her force spell to allow her to juggle items larger than herself (which is most things).

She notices that the ice cream cones seem a little sad and upon closer inspection, she thinks she knows why.
"You poor babies are lacking your toppings!" she coos.
Weaving her fingers through magical patterns, the first ice cream cone is covered in chocolate sauce and topped with hundreds and thousands. It squeals in delight.
The second ice cream cone is covered in strawberry sauce and chocolate strands. It giggles happily.
The third ice cream cone is topped with marshmallow pieces and has a chocolate flake bar added. It gurgles in content but then starts to cry.
Kisha wrinkles her nose, "Is my work never done?" She cast another spell to change its nappy and all is well with the world.

Walden is driving and very nearly crushes the pixie-mobile without even realising it. Four tennis balls drop from the sky and he says to himself "Ah, my nemesis, we meet again!"
He climbs onto the car roof and rubs his elbow which is sore at just the thought of playing tennis.
"I'll teach those snobs at Wimbledon" he says out loud as he holds a cricket bat in his hands rather than bringing a tennis racket.
With the skill and panache of a seasoned pro, he repeatedly bats the balls up in an order to mimic juggling them, all the while squirting canned whipped cream into his eager mouth. Yummy!

Stranger stepped outside the tent and moved aside into the empty space. He took off the black top hat and placed it on the ground. He made a few quick gestures over him and took a few steps to the side. Suddenly, the trunk of a huge tree shot out of the cylinder into the sky, in the blink of an eye growing above the tent and becoming a large, green Christmas tree. It seemed as if the tree had always been there, it had so well grown into its surroundings. Stranger took a christmas bauble from his pocket and hung it on a branch. As soon as the bauble touched the branch, it began to sing quietly...

The first bauble is on the Christmas Tree...

Subject 36 - 4 points. He shouldn't have given up and looked for other politicians to juggle. Repeat until he masters the skill or until there are no politicians left. They are still some around. He hasn't done his work.

El Ingenioso Don Sombrero Tenebroso - 4 points because he didn't tell a joke. It's disrespectful to the audience, it's unprofessional.

Many clicking heels sound as the spider-legged amphibian (83) Frogoz runs around the concourse, all the while keeping an eye out for those pesky rabbits. Roger Untoony makes sure to keep out of sight.

(78) Rude Rooster feels that the crowd needs livening up. He unleashes his Cackle of Confusion on those nearest him and while they stand around in a daze, he ties all their shoe laces together. Those who don't have any laces, he ties their legs (or whatever passes for legs) together.
He then drops a realistic looking fake snake and rolls around laughing as everyone trips over each other in their panic to get away.
He nips outside the tent carrying a shovel, giggling all the way.

With a mighty "ribbit" Frogoz squeezes into Mr Whuffles, a multitude of legs sticking out of the car windows. He steps on the accelerator and an explosion sounds from the back of the car where someone had crammed a banana into the exhaust (all eyes turn to a chuckling bird).
Mr Whuffles shoots forward only to crash into a Christmas Tree that has recently been moved into the centre of the tent.
Soft music plays as Frogoz lays dazed, having added Roosters to his list of enemies alongside rabbits.

Rude Rooster rolls around laughing by his car Snookums. Tears stream from his eyes and he doesn't even hear the whistling of wind or see a shadow get bigger and bigger around him.
He looks up at the last moment, grin gone from his face, and says quietly "uh-oh". An obese Rhino lands right on top of the serial prankster with a loud whump.
The Rhino looks around in confusion, "Hello?" he asks "I'm meant to be juggled? I'm wearing my best toupee for the occasion."
A crumpled wing sticking out from under him moves slightly as a muffled groan sounds.

After the magnificent show ended, Stranger stayed in the audience. He looked at a Christmas Tree in the centre of the tent for a long time. Then, at one moment, he raised his hand and flew silently to the top of the tree to attach a tree toper in the shape of silver star to it. The star on the Christmas tree glowed brightly, and turned to gold. The sounds of Christmas carols flowed along with the golden rays of light...