I've been assigned to mark the following Clowns:
• (75) Clownbot
• (84) an encyclopedia
 
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The performaces should be about driving and juggling, but there's already a pie-flinging exhibit in motion.
Now, that's cheating…

Then again, "pies" are meant to be tossed and make a mess with. So what's a Clownbot supposed to do?

Still… strictly speaking, pie-flinging contest is Round 2. This right here is Round 1. There's simply no escaping that.
So with that said, I'm terribly sorry. But here's your score card:

• +3 solid points for cheating! WooHoo!! (pie-flinging contest sneak peek)
• +1 point for the well-intended pie sharing… [Now Censored]
• I had to withhold the last point due to Clownbot's malfunctioning.

[Scoreboard: 4]
 
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And here's another cheater…
Why juggle beings when they could do so themselves? Or better yet, why juggle at all?
Just cancel them.
Cancel the competitor too.

But here's the thing…
Where's the fun--
an encyclopedia: * evil cackles *

Riiight… there it is…

• +4 points for double-cheating.
• +1 point for being an asshole.

[Scoreboard: 5]

(68) Thalassa lounges on her back in a large water filled tank. She turns to the crowd "Hear me, landlubbers! H20 is water, but what is H204?"
"It’s for swimming and drinking, of course."
She motions for her buff, koala bear servants to drag her tank to the waiting Mr Whuffles and they start tugging on the attached ropes.

(26) #VXH087, aka Hue Muhn-Beeng has come out of hiding to perform at clown school. A prosthetic-legged robot with a comically large feline head, he bounds towards Snookum, all the while keeping an eye out to make sure that the feds aren't onto him.

Thalassa has a water filled bowl placed on her head and she squeezes into her waiting car. Whilst driving, she notices the arrival of four flying fish from above. Her loyal Koalas help her onto the car roof where she greets her scaly friends and starts to juggle them. Every so often she grabs one of the fish and slaps a koala in the face with it. The muscular marsupial then shakes his head vigorously before gazing back at her lovingly.

Hue Muhn-Beeng drives around the tent with wild abandon. Three smartly dressed men drop from above and he rises to meet them and juggle them.
The men turn out to be attorneys for film studios who are here to sue Hue Muhn-Beeng for killing beloved franchises and costing their companies hundreds of millions of dollars.
The first attorney rants about the culling of another six Hobbit films. Hue smiles and says that it was necessary to show the preposterousness of having sexual relationships between Dwarves and Elves. Prettying up the Dwarves to make this possible is also a big no-no.
The second attorney bemoans the death of the Pretty Woman franchise. Hue grins and says that having the pimp stab the client to death for trying to take his whore away and cost him money is what would happen in the real world.
The third attorney rails against the ruining of the Transformers series. Hue laughs, the films ruined themselves when they moved away from being a kids cartoon to being crappy action films. The fact is that a hundred or so robots would be no match for the worlds military and my film showed just how easily they would be overwhelmed.

As a shapeshifter, Morpho has a soft spot for improvisational routines, which Balaurul Bondoc pulls off in fine fashion, especially for a flightless dinosaur. Not the best technique, perhaps, but still a solid performance, complete with tap dancing! 4 out of 5!

Quentin Verbose doesn't fare quite as well; although his savage insults are the stuff of legend, his verbal sparring skills are largely wasted on juggling, driving, and inbred chickens. 3 out of 5.

For the sake of the spreadsheet being properly updated (idk if I have to post my vote public for spreedsheet or not)
These are my scores based how impressed I was with each performance for the match I was in charge of giving scores too


Immalil Gimm Icky: 5
Zombeat the Medic: 4

Both very impressive displays.

Thank you. I will be copying Doc's post #4 now that more scores are in, though.

[Hue's Personal Tablet]

Notepad - Clown School Log (saved)

Text-to-Speech: ENABLED

>>
My concern about the Milkywood stooges exacting my location has been overshadowed by how impressed I am with myself for juggling 6 balls while driving a car. Feels good to be back. Think I might stay here for a while.
<<

Acquatic intergalactic species and koalas, a match made in heaven. :)

I have to score Pierrot and Iron Simon so let's see,

They faced a Demon so we can be nice with them for their poor performance as anyone would be scared facing a Demon who told you he will eat eat you if yon don't make him laugh so

Pierrot : 4

Iron Simon : 3

I am struggling with GOG bears at the moment, so I will try later to post more here.

(22) Ilyas finds a hip flask and takes a swig before slipping it into his clown costume and walks unsteadily towards the waiting Snookums.

(1) Orig'lat glows under several layers of makeup. She leans on her walking stick as she wanders in the direction of Mr Whuffles who honks his horn to guide her.

Ilyas reaches Snookums and asks "Ish this the Ticketsh offish? I want one ticketsh for Debbiesshh doesss Pluto pleash..."
He takes out the hip flask for another swig, not noticing that it has a frightened little face.
Someone taps him firmly on his shoulder and he turns around to see a seven foot tall hip flask glowering at him.
"Santa?" Ilyas asks.
The hip flask angrily says "My boy done got took! I been told you were seen near him at the time." A little voice emanates from inside Ilyas clown suit "Daddy!"
The hip flask growls and brings an iron bar to bear on the bewildered clown. He picks up his terrified son from the battered body and heads back into the crowd.
Ilyas groans "I need a drink", he reaches into his suit only to find the flask gone causing him to groan some more.

Orig'lat tootles along at 10mph, squinting through the windscreen and shouting for everyone to get out of the way. She muses "Aren't I supposed to do something while I'm here?"
A rift opens in the air near to her and a Dwarf dressed in a pink tutu, pink leotard, pink ballet slippers and with painted pink fingernails and even his hair and beard are now in ringlets with pink bows called Grog'tial falls through to land on a small trampoline, bouncing on it a few times before face-planting into the ground.
A skull floats above him, chuckling until it notices a dark gaze rested upon it. It quickly beats a hasty retreat back through the rift.

Orig'lat stops her car and squints at the dazed figure on the ground. "Timmy?" she enquires "Little Timmy! Why aren't you in school!"
She hobbles over to the embarrassed Dwarf "You look different... did you cut your hair?"
A shadowy figure smiles and clicks his fingers. Three anvils fall from above, aiming for the wrinkled old Dwarf's head. Grog'tial jumps up in alarm and uses the trampoline to launch himself in to the air and intercept the anvils, juggling them in the process.
Orig'lat puts her hands on her hips and says "Now you get back here Timmy and give Grandma a big kiss!"
She puckers her lips in expectation as her grandson glares past her at a shadowy alcove.

Still waiting on a couple of scores so I have asked others to judge them instead.

(For those wondering who Grog'tial is, or where he came from: Voyage of the Cursed Crew)

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After safely putting down the anvils, Grog'tial allows himself with ill grace to be kissed by his grandmother. "Grandmaaaa!", he whines, "You know I don't like to be called Timmy!"

"Now, now, Timmy! Your human heritage is nothing to be ashamed off! You know I never thought much of your father, but since he's no longer here, someone has to remind you of that! Among humans, 'Timmy' is a proud name, with a long and respected history!"

With visible effort restraining himself from going down the well-trodden path of that particular argument, Grog'tial turns to more important matters. "Grandma, we have to get you out of here! That shadowy figure running the show is pure evil! Luckily an... associate of mine said she has some assets in place here. I'll see if I can make contact, and then..."

Orig'lat interrupts her grandson, "You mean that lovely young man in the alcove over there? Oh, he's such a dear, providing entertainment for the masses - and very courteous to an old lady, too!"
Her voice turns conspiratorial, "I actually think he fancies me!" Not noticing the look of abject horror on Grog'tial's face, she continues, "I'm way out of his league of course, but well, it has been many years since your grandfather died. If he plays his cards right, who knows...."

I've been just tasked to do exactly the same!

Hmm, what to say...

Clownbot gets 3 points for its (attempt at the) classic trick, maybe not very original but still an evergreen, plus 1 for playing it honestly despite being unknowingly being sabotaged, for a total of 4 points.

an Encyclopedia gets 5 points for being so unapologetically, sickening evil, minus two because it was the only one having fun there, kinda missing the point of the show, for a total of 3 points.

I believe the argument to this, is that this is an intergalactic clown school. Normalcy and Clown standards is off the table.
  Just glacing at the wicked Clowns around, not even counting the diverse audiences, I'm pretty sure an encyclopedia isn't the only one entertained.

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Anyway, my opening words begins with "I believe […]" because I'm not really trying to start an argument or even contest scores.

I merely wanted to share my own point of view. Which by extension, illustrates why my own rating was such. Not that I was easy-going with the contestants.

That's all.

On to the next makeup! I mean matchup!

When two parallel worlds collide! Brilliant writing, Doc! I can't believe you pulled this off... xD

* * * * * *
Cornelius looked up in astonishment, as did all of the spectators in the tent, as a rift in space-time had opened wide and Grog'tial the Dwarf fell from it wearing a pinker than pink tutu, complete with matching leotard and pink ballet shoes. What an entrance! This Dwarf from another dimension has graced us with his fabulous presence!

As all eyes were glued onto this spectacularly pink creature, Cornelius glared his red demon eyes onto BB Kitty who was sat not too far from him. He used his diabolic "charm" to convince BB Kitty to hand over his boombox, for just a brief moment...

Cornelius felt the Dwarf's performance deserved a touch of music. He raised his hoofs, lifting the boombox way above his demon horns for all to hear, and played Soft Cell's cabaret song, "Sex Dwarf".

Thanks for linking it for those who might not have known. ;)