Unfortunately, they weren't of the Clitus division...

Fortunately, as the name suggests, The Clitus Division is a myth and doesn't really exist.

It was perpetuated by pre-op teenage mutant ninja transsexuals to further their cause.

Unfortunately, teenage is always hot stuff and in high demand as ever, yummm!

Fortunately, all those hot teens are washed up 35 year old has-beens that dress up to look like teenagers, so nothing's illegal and we're all good to go.

Unfortunately, my inventory had glitch items in it; when Kleetus's minions took those items, some bad memory corruptions occurred. It turns out that some of those "teens" are actually -123 or so years old, which is under 18 and hence clearly illegal.

Fortunately, Kleetus' life is full of bad memories, so this extended his life and made him eternal.

All hail Uncle Kleetus, peasants.

Unfortunately, it's more like Uncle 3&<eQDgl4r@{|oEH6i#6, as the name of the entity formerly called "Kleetus" has been corrupted badly.

Fortunately, his loyal Republican Guard minions had antivirus software and restored their dear overlord.

Hiya DT, I have an exciting day today shopping and loitering.

I wish you were with me so we could hold hands in public.

Unfortunately, the antivirus software is not immune to the corruption.

(Notice the change I made when quoting you?)

Fortunately, Kleetus was already corrupted, so this latest corruption made him even more virile.

Unfortunately, there is nobody named "Kleetus" (remember, that entity's name is now
"3&<eQDgl4r@{|oEH6i#6", so your mention has a dangling reference, which can lead to even worse problems.

Fortunately, Kleetus' name was already changed when originally corrupted and cannot be changed further.

His birth name was Kleetus, The Anointed One.

Unfortunately, when you made the name immutable and an attempt was made to change it, the world crashed with the following message:

Segmentation fault (core dumped)
goddess@universe$ _

Fortunately, that was just porn spam and once the excitement had subsided it disappeared and all was well.

This porn had a profound effect on Uncle Kleetus and made him even more virile and endowed than he already was.

Unfortunately, since the universe has crashed, it is not possible for the porn, or anything else, to have any effect.