Fortunately, I found another emblem. This particular emblem has flying and trample.

(Again, assume Magic: The Gathering rules here.)

Unfortunately, the emblem does nothing but trample them and fly away.

Fortunately, I got another emblem; this one with "0: Gain 1 life". I then use its ability a number of times equal to Graham's number. Now, I have so much life I might as well have infinite life (but note that I don't *actually* have infinite life).

Unfortunately, all the Land cards have transformed into spoiled pudding so neither you can invoke anything nor use them to overcome world hunger.

Fortunately, I try to cure my OCD and help myself.

Unfortunately

the internet has long ceased to be place where genuine sympathy exists and the reality of your personal struggles fall unto ears deafened by the cacophonous yammering of ego validation that exists for the perpetuity of self aggrandization that of which has permeated every aspect of western civilization for the last three hundred years.

Toto, we're not in Geocites anymore.

Fortunately, internet belongs to cats!

Unfortunately, those cats don't know what they're doing, and the entire Internet falls apart.

(Also, why are my posts in this topic being "low rated"?)

Fortunately, the internet can also be fixed with duct tape.

Unfortunately,it doesn't matter time of day or night zeogold is here lapping up his fan club of 1.(HIMSELF).

Fortunately his fan club has plenty of duct tape for these situations.

Unfortunately, they just recently used it all to tape Tauto to a tree.

Fortunately, they actually used slightly more than that, and as a result, the supply of duct tape dropped below zero and underflowed to a large* positive number.

* By "large" I mean, maybe, along the lines of 18 quintillion (assuming a 64-bit integer representation); not nearly as much as the amount of life I gave myself with that emblem.

Unfortunately,dtgreene has totally confused the issue and I doubt has a sense of humor.

Fortunately none of this changes the fact that Tauto was taped to a tree.