Unfortunately, 'Muricans will have to live under the sea, as their country no longer exists.

Fortunately, we could all use more seafood in our diet!

Unfortunately, it is difficult to deep fry food underwater.

Fortunately Mr. Trumple*, the next 'murican President, will offer a solution for this problem. And for ALL other problems as well.



(*= It's phonetic similar to the german word "Trampel" which means klutz/clod/palooka/plonker)

Unfortunately, he gets Trumpled* by the other candidates.

(*= It's phonetic similar to the English word "trampled" which means to be walked/trodden over)

Fortunately, Martin O'Malley ended up becoming the Democratic candidate (despite the fact that he won no delegates in the Iowa party and has formally dropped out of the race) and ended up being elected President.

Unfortunately, he's a lousy president. He is impeached. Chaos erupts.

Fortunately, the vice president, whose name is Nobody, becomes president and is not impeached.

Unfortunately, he ends up getting assassinated. More chaos erupts.

Fortunately, Chelsea Manning somehow gets elected president, despite the fact that she is still in prison. For some reason, Caitlyn Jenner (who is a Republican) becomes the vice president.

Unfortunately, it turns out that the elections were rigged, as they had to be if the candidate was in prison. Both president and vice president suddenly resign. Even more chaos erupts.

Fortunately, in the chaos, Chelsea Manning escapes from prison, and Caitlyn Jenner somehow ends up in a military prison, despite not having committed a crime.

Unfortunately, it turns out that this "escape" was due to bribing, leading to the eruption of so much chaos that tinyE and the Puzzlemaster eventually rise as the only two viable political candidates.

Fortunately, it turns out that both tinyE and the Puzzlemaster are ineligible as candidates. tinyE, in particular, is a resident of Other, and is therefore ineligible for US presidency. The Puzzlemaster, meanwhile, failed to get enough signatures to be a valid candidate.

Unfortunately, due to being denied, they both decide that politics are boring and go back to duking it out.