Banned for inviting giant turtles from the sewer to dine with us.

Banned for misinterpreting "having giant turtles for dinner".

Banned for crushing on the ninja turtles

Banned because Secret of the Ooze was a good movie.

^ banned for not recognizing that those turtles speak in surfer slang but do a different sort of "shredding"

Banned for interspecies relations

Banned for watching the Pokemon porn where Pikachu looks like a very unsexy yellow goth demon.

banned, because I can't eat my lunch now

Banned for consuming food.

Banned for hailing Caesar, Mary, and a cab.

^ banned for hail damage to the cab Caesar and Mary were traveling in

Banned because this wouldn't have happened if they took an Uber or Lyft.

^ banned because your insurance doesn't cover "acts of god" really? what the hail, man?

Banned because if life insurance is money you get when you die, then death insurance should be money you get if you are supposed to die but end up surviving.

Edit: I think I'll get death insurance and "attempt" suicide. I'll be rich by the end of the week.

Banned because who needs money if you're dead?