Banned for training narwhales to poke holes into my ship.

^ Banned, for using a narwhal's helical tusk to make a white horse to appear to be a unicorn

Banned for surgically removing a unicorn's horn to make it look like a horse.

Banned for discriminating against seals!

Banned, because seals are evil monsters, they're eating penguins!

Banned for making this story on-topic: The day I dropped Cracked was when they had a listicle featuring that very conflict. They literally promise to not show a picture of a particular description, but there it is at the end: a penguin's head firmly clasped by a seal's jaws and over 20 inches removed from the shoulders complete with a Mortal Kombat geyser between them. Were there not an Internet between myself and the author, I would at least be tempted to beat them senseless.

Banned for not adding TL;DR at the end of your paragraph.

Banned because you didn't treat me to half rice-cake!

Banned because you were gone when I was treating everyone in this ban forum rice cakes.

Banned because you didn't mythbust GOG, in their falsified claim of needing money hence their urge to expand&abolish policies; the witcher prima guide, clearly states that "they 're throwing parties, regularly at that too, on first ground offices" (and they partner with others to sell even game extras now, where and when they gave out for free, before)!

Banned, because you haven't tried checking at lost and found offices for your lost Polish girl.

BANNED FOR MENTIONING HER! Don't remind him!

Banned, because the endless spiral continues unabated

PERMA-BANNED, because we need to break this vicious cycle.

**drives the cycle into the wall adjacent to you** BANNED! for making me do it