Granted.

You are now the owner of luxurious Volcano Island, land of the constant eruption.

Your radio station KEVI broadcasts the lilting tones of Mecha-Striesand 24 hours daily in unison with the constant eruptions.

It's magical....



I wish Malware never existed!!

Granted, But now all the dickheads who assault other people's computers with Malware have to get their kicks by murdering people, including you.

I wish I could sing with the greatest voice in the history of music.

Granted, but all the other singers will be jealous and in the end you will be forced to hide in a place where no one exists to hear you singing.

I wish to be able to speak fluently all human languages

...and yet you still can't understand R2-D2.

I wish I had a pint of ice cream.

Granted but it wasn't in any container so it just melted on the ground.

I wish I could eat indefinitely without getting full.

Granted, but you'll end up on TV and thus by extension every youtube video about

"Fattest people ever".

I wish I could replace Steam with Gog, while keeping it the GoG way.

Terrific. Now nobody has any Steam keys to use for Gog giveaways; without all the extra traffic, the Gog forums become an online ghost town. Go you.

I really wish I could work and play at my computer for more than a couple of hours at a time without getting eyestrain.

Well, you got your eyes replaced with augmented fiber optic eyes.

Plot twist 1: Those are from Sarif Industry

Plot twist 2: Adam Jensen is looking for you.... and he looks pretty pissed.

This time you did ask for this!



I wish I have an awesome singing voice like the classic rock stars (Mick Jagger, Freddy Mercury, etc etc)

Granted, not only you have a voice like all the classic rock stars but all of their deffects too. You are a combination of the worst traits of Elvis, Michael, Freddy, Axel, Mick, Steven, etc, etc.

I wish scary movies to be really scary.

Your wish is granted but now you find mundane things like brushing your teeth, putting on clothes and posting on the GoG forum scary too.

I really wish someone wouldn't corrupt my wish

Done. Enjoy your uncorrupted wish, that didn't actually wish for anything.

I wish summer lasted throughout the fall.

The Earth shifts on it's axis to accommodate your wish, resulting in a dramatic rise in sea level due the rapid melting of polar ice. Millions are displaced and much of the world's food and water sources are contaminated or destroyed. Global famine and widespread panic cause world leaders to lose all control and eventually nuclear war ensues. Only bacteria and Habrobracon wasps survive the fallout.
(Edit: Typo)

I wish for a pair of really good headphones.

Granted, you get good headphones, but they are already broken. And you have to pay for them. And they emit a really loud whining noise at all times.

I wish I had more money.

Granted, you find millions of dollars on your bank account. The money was transferred by mistake, though, and in fact belongs to the Illuminati, who are prepared to take it back at any cost. And silence you in the process since that money was supposed to be secret. Also, you still have to pay income taxes.

I wish I had better computer.

Granted, you are gifted a lightning fast computer with all the bells and whistles. Thing is, it runs entirely off of RAM, so you loose ALL your data, even the operating system, every time you shut it down or restart. >_<

I wish I fully understood Quantum Mechanics and all of it's implications.