- Food would simply not spoil, as long as it remained in your backpack
- Things you left on the floor outside of containers would either remain untouched basically forever, or else would invariably disappear once it left your line of sight.
- People in the medieval time did not need to pee or crap 99.9% of the time. The 0.01% of the time where they needed to do it, a funny story would inevitably ensue around said activity.
- People could become extremely hardy with experience and withstand mortal blows that would kill a lesser person outright. A morning star blow to the head, a crossbow bolt through the gut, a sword trust in the heart... all could be survived given a sufficient amount of training.
- The outcome of fighting in the medieval period was a matter of rank. The outcome of a battle was uncertain between people of the same rank. Otherwise, the individual of greater rank would invariably win. Bouts of good/bad luck, having an off day or having a brain fart simply did not occur during medieval battles.
- Medieval smiths and other craftsmen were even better than modern automated factories at producing goods that had a perfectly constant make quality.
- Also, medieval smiths, craftsmen and merchants usually could pull new items out of their arses at infinitum as long as you had enough money to pay for it. And similarly, they had an infinite supply of capital to buy the ton and a half of goods you managed to scavenge on the last battlefield.

Middle ages were a paradise of gender equality.

There were a lot of female knights everywhere, and they fought as well as men, sometimes even better. Smiths forged special types of armors only for females based on the idea that breasts must be well protected by steel cups, but neck belly and legs are best left naked so that the female charm is not hindered by the protective garments in any way.

Everyone spoke with jovial American accent and towns and villages were full of signs, posters, leaflets, etc., because the whole population was literate.

In warfare, weapon hits never caused any visible wounds, and loss of limbs happened only post mortem, with the final mortal strike. Any wound, no matter how serious, could be totally healed with eight hours of sleep.

All manners of poison, natural or man made, could be cured with a generic antidote potion that was on sale in every shop.

Every town and village used the same currency, usually gold coins, and everyone including peasantry carried and used a lot of gold coins to buy mundane items like chicken legs or eggs.

Even though the times were hard, majority of the population was not really working, save for a few peasants digging something in the fields, or occassional blacksmith striking the anvil over and over. Most people just sort of hung around, exchanging daily gossip.

Food was plentiful and abundant, although recreational starving was a favorite leisure time activity. Anyone could hunt deer and rabbits in the woods, or pick fruit or vegetables from trees and gardens and nobody did mind one bit.

Priests could heal people in an instant with a prayer, and if you could afford it, even bring people back from the dead.

Nay, it was even better than you say. They made one type of armor, that would cover the entire body for guys, but that, when donned by a woman, would automatically adapt to take said qualities that you describe.

It is also worth noting that all knights that had at least above-average strength could simply put on a suit of full plate armor and jog around the battlefield on foot, while fighting prolonged battles. It did not affect their mobility or fighting ability in the slightest. In fact, the only time all that heavy metal ever became a hindrance would be if they'd try to do acrobatics (like flips which while harder was still possible given enough skill), pickpocket someone or pick a lock.

Most people died of diarrhea.

Ok I am not sure if that was true in medieval times, but it would be cool if it was. Even cooler if it happened in RPGs, and you'd have to fight your own diarrhea.

Newer RPGs teach us that even back then silly concepts like gender existed.

It wouldn't have to be automatic. I mean, automatic would almost have to be magical, or something. I think the parts were simply removable, especially around the waistline because back in medieval times women retained water rather easily and needed more space around the waist region. I would guess that also presented the opportunity for rearranging the pieces like a 3D jigsaw puzzle so as to create large cavities for the chest region. Though that likely was just one-chest-size-fits-all, so certainly some women must have stuffed the chest cavities of the armor with socks or other comfortable inventory items.

On the other hand, I would figure both women and men would stuff the boots or lower legs of plate armor with such items when their legs weren't long enough, to keep their pelvises from splitting in half from excessive pressure to the perineal region.

All in all, that very likely helped explain the incredible inventory capacity of medieval adventurers, much of it was stuffed within the oversized armors they wore.

Probably a translation error from English to American.
You've never had critical failures, making you lose an otherwise certain win. Or multiple critical hits in a row, letting you win an encounter you should realistically lose against an enemy of greater level?

Also, if you have a priest in your group, they can usually heal your sorry ass quickly enough that you can get the upper hand against otherwise difficult foes. At least until you have hurt them enough that they start to change their fighting style and suddenly make a shitoad more damage.

- Torches grow by themselves on cave walls, in old ruins, underground passages etc. in order to light the way in the dark for any potential passers-by. They produce infinite self-fuel to burn, self-ignite to light the way, and require no manual maintenance by humans/monsters/etc. in order to function.

- People were capable of carrying many times their own weight, and massive volumes of armour/weapons/food/etc. could be carried by a single person and not only take up a fraction of the volume/space that the individual items would take up normally, but they were not visible to anyone else until an individual item was needed by the person carrying it, whom could make one of the items being carried materialize out of thin air almost instantly, without having to stop or open a pack sack etc.

- People may or may not have had to eat or drink in order to survive, but they never had to relieve themselves or bathe, brush their teeth or other biological functions or personal hygiene.

- People travelled on foot or by horse, however if they had to get to a well known city/town or other well known location, they could magically transport there instantly by opening a portal or in many cases just willing it to happen as long as they were standing near the right fencepost or similar object. This was convenient for travelling from deep inside caves or underground dungeons in order to sell dozens upon dozens of helmets, swords, armour, shields etc. to a local blacksmith/shop merchant etc. and that they would almost always buy several times more of the goods brought to them than they could ever hope to sell.

- Towns, cities, and huge metropolises genearally have a population between 3 people to maybe 20-30 people on average.

- These towns/cities are able to sell hundreds of armour/shields/bows/swords/etc. and move goods quickly within a single low-population town which sees almost no travellers/tourists and can move the goods very quickly, often in 5 minutes to a half hour or so despite there being no such visible market for the goods in terms of buyers, and the goods never appear on their store shelves or anywhere else visible. It was all moved magically apparently.

Most of the guards in cities are former adventurers that took arrow to the knee. Most adventurers seem to retire that way. ;-p XD

If kingdom/world is in need of saving, the main method of saving them is to recruit outsiders/strangers (young farm boys from remote farms that have never left home will also do) that have no combat experience and send them off unequipped, unarmed and without any money to deal with the problem.

That reminds me of my first time playing BG2. Spent a long time coming up with the character, including the name. I get through the prologue/intro chapter and emerge into the bright city of Athkatla, head straight for the nearest inn...and discover the innkeeper has the same first name as my character!!!

At least she was a nice innkeeper.

You'd need help from a stranger to identify tons of items you found, even obvious stuff, like that poisoned dagger you found in a chest, that looks exactly the same as the poisoned dagger you use as weapon, that you identified with the same individual, in the previous day.
In some cases, it's possible to learn a special skill to identify items. A special skill that no average joe will have.

If you equipped a cursed weapon, you wouldn't be able to unequip, without help from a stranger (unless you somehow learned the skill).
Even if your hands or arms got amputated, you'd still suffer with the curse, it's like you released the physical connection, but not the spiritual connection with the item.

If you need to talk with someone to complete a mission, it's almost guaranteed the person will wait for you. Even if he/she never meet you before, a voice in his/her head will ask him/her to wait.
Unless the mission is finding the person, if that's the case, the universe will do everything to make this mission a nightmare.

Ooh. Another one. People never touch treasure, chests or other containers that are lying about, even if they've been there before you.

If you wandered into a moldering ruin there would be fresh fruit and bread in some of the dilapidated containers. And freshly lit torches on the walls.

Some people could shoot fire out of their fingers, but only when faced with hostile enemies. In their everyday life, lighting a fire or cooking were beyond the reach of those with that kind of ability.

I learned that people either stand in one spot for incredibly long periods of time, do not interact with people near themselves in any material way more often than not, and often never sleep/eat/etc.

Also that there are about 5 professions back then and everyone else is just a freeloader apparently.

- They could walk through walls/mountains, etc. simply by holding a convex faced item such as a basket or a plate facing outwards in their outstretched arms and walking into the wall/mountain/etc.

Here's one:

When you are trying to avoid enemies, or are chasing them down to start a fight, you have to be quick, as the enemies will not wait for you to act. However, once battle actually starts, the enemies will wait for you to choose your actions; hence, being fast is no longer necessary.

Sometimes merchants would buy only stuff, that they also sell. A farmer would refuse to buy a precious armor for a gold coin, but would buy a ton of apples for 1000 gold coins.

And one of my favorite medieval facts: Prices were made by charisma! If the shopkeeper didn´t like your face, he just took the double price. But when your charisma rised, he slightly adjusted prices to your appeal.