Fortunately, global warming is making the polar bears die out.

Unfortunately, now the penguins are coming to power.

Fortunately, global warming isn't nice to the penguins either.

Unfortunately, after being a major lead in the war, the cult of tinyE and the followers of the Puzzlemaster have now risen up to rule the world.

Unfortunately penguins and polar bears have little to do with each other because they live on opposite ends of the planet.

and Unfortunately I don't type fast enough.

Fortunately, as a result of global warming, a massive snowstorm, combined with frigid temperatures, freezes the cult of the Puzzlemaster and the followers of tinyE.

Unfortunately, the cult of tinyE has Lovecraftian powers, and awaken the flames of Hell to unfreeze themselves, while the followers of the Puzzlemaster are wise enough to build a heating device.

Fortunately, the flames of hell and the heating device produce so much heat that global warming is accelerated, making the blizzards even more severe.

Unfortunately, the cult of tinyE prays to the Lovecraftian gods and solves the weather issue, while the Puzzlemaster's followers are able to deduce the problem through science and logic and put an end to it, making the weather better once more while they both still rule the world.

Fortunately, one of the Puzzlemaster's followers made a tiny logical mistake, causing a massive superstorm to appear, striking tinyE and the Puzzlemaster (but not any of their followers, for some reason).

Unfortunately, in a freak accident, this storm has made both tinyE and the Puzzlemaster ultra-powerful, turning into monstrous forms, whereupon both get greedy and decide to break the alliance, waging all-out war with one another.

Fortunately, a hero appears!

Unfortunately, the hero gives up after getting their mind boggled by the Puzzlemaster unleashing one of his infamous riddles.

Fortunately, from the depths of Undertale, Undyne shows up, and she's filled with determination! Undyne *never* gives up.

Unfortunately, at the last minute, she remembered that today was the day in which the final chapter of her favorite telenovela was showing so she had to retreat just to watch the ending...