A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'
'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
'Try it now,' said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?
The bee answered, "BP."

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this couldn't be the answer right
EDIT : NVM

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Does your wife ever...well, you know...does she...well, let you do it doggie style?" asked one of the two.
"Well, not exactly," his friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?"
"Well, not exactly. Whenever I make a move, she's most likely to roll over and play dead."
Its one of those jokes that uses social commentary as a substitute for humour, you're supposed to smile and nod

a horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says "why the long face?" to which the horse replies "I was diagnosed with cancer."
"the president, the pope, and a marine all walk into a bar, I duck."
What does a grape and an elephant have in common? Everything! except the elephant.

1)What's orange and underground and not a carrot?
A carrot. Sucker.
2)How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
You open the door and put him in.
How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
You open the door, take then elephant out, and put the giraffe in.
Who would win in a race, an elephant or a giraffe?
The elephant, the giraffe is still in the refrigerator.
3) This isn't really a joke, but something I say when anyone ever says that something is 'intense'
'you know what else is intents? camping."
it's funny because most of the time people don't get it.
4)Oh, shortest joke in the world.
A baby seal walked into a club.

Night. Wife goes through apartment and see a light in toilet,
so she turns it off
-Holly F@ck - screams hers husband who was inside
She turns the ligt back on and asks
-What happend?
-God damn, i tought my eyes exploded - he replays.

>.> I can't believe no one has done:
A rabbi, a priest and an atheist walk in to a bar.
You'd think one of them would have seen it.
...
An adventurer finds a magic lamp, when he rubbed the dust off a genie popped out. As typical, the genie gave the adventurer three wishes.
For his first wish, he said "I want to have all the wealth of the greatest dragon's hoard!"
And behold, mountains of riches formed around him.
The adventurer was please, so he made his second wish "I wish for a beautiful wood nymph who will be my mate, and live to serve only me!"
And, a wood nymph appeared.
For a moment the adventurer thought about his last wish, and leaned in to whisper it to the genie, not wanting the nymph to hear.
And out of nowhere an angry mob appeared, they grabbed the adventurer and drug him off and beat him, before putting a noose around his neck and stringing him up from a tree.
After the shock wore off, the nymph looked to the genie and asked "Well what was his third wish?"
"... to be hung like a half-orc."

Had a bloody crash this morning, Hit a car up the backside. The fella got out and he was a dwarf!! He said "i'm not Happy" ... I said " Well which one are you then?"...

Two men walk into a bar.
I can't remember how the joke ends, but your mum is a who**

I'm imagining a Norm Macdonald delivery there

Really? I'm imagining a Sean Connery impersonator from SNL. (Around 1:00).

I love that clip. Who's playing Sean there?

Dunno. We don't get SNL over here, so I'm only aware of it in a YouTube-link kinda way.

Darrell Hammond

Thanks dude.
thanks dude