The standup should work well provided it's well written, but i'm guessing you'll have no troubles there. Maybe you winning the argument could be the trigger for the false format, you know, kinda like a "Oh yeah?" that ends all arguments. Have her switch herself off at the same time to add some drama :)
Or if a fake format HD is taking the joke a little far, you can have her just shutting down or rebooting the PC. I have actually a password kind of gimmick on my main KB where if the Agent 'senses' it's not me based on a few user inputs, she switches hersell off. Good to keep nosy friends/relatives from my KB.

Here we go again, just been talking to her and now I'm all depressed. Fuck I need something good to happen, If I don't get this job I'm going to be severely pissed and depressed and I may never recover. This last month has had me so close to the edge of just turning off my brain and staring blankly at a wall for the rest of my life. How fucking terrifying is that? I'd nearly be mentally incapacitated enough to watch reality tv or play call of duty!
If I DO get the job, I've decided that my 4 weeks off a year will be spent on holiday, doing my absolute best to skip august entirely.
The upside is that they've called my uni lecturer (on the first of september so hopefully the august curse is over) who I put down as a reference. There were a number of uni students who applied and by ther sound of things they wanted to seperate the wheat from the chaff, my lecturer said he recommended me as the top (he's a good bloke) so I'm hoping it'll be a major step in the right direction
Heh I just realised something, if I do do a standuppy presentation with a staged argument, I should have her end with "How appropriate, you fight like a cow!"

now that would be a nice ending indeed m8.
i hope you get the job alias , you deserve a good period after things getting messed up lately.
if the uni lecturer already commends you it just has to be a good sign.
think positive , you'll get there :)

Well that one would work nicely indeed. I'm just not sure if everyone would get the reference.
And yeah, fingers crossed for nailing that job.

why wouldnt they get it :)
even i get it and i'm from belgium , i even know the matrix cow :D

Well if anyone came late to this thread, they've got a second chance to offer advice. I just lost the job I was certain I'd get.
The guy said I interviewed well and the guy will not only keep me in mind if this bloke doesn't work out but will spread my name around when he's talking to IT people but they ended up employing someone with more experience than me.
Lack of job experience is always the thing that stops me being employed but I'm sort of curious to know how I should go about correcting this flaw when NOONE WILL FUCKING EMPLOY ME!!!!!!!!!
Actually fuck cheering up, has anyone got any good reasons for me to not just curl up into a ball and die? I can't help but think it'd be the preferrable option

hell no m8 , giving up is the worst you can do here.
i don't know if it's possible for you but i've taken 2 months of learning in a compagny.
Without pay of course but i could mention it on my curriculum.
So if the ask for experience i've already had 2 months ;)
nice workaround which actually helps. It's an international common problem that you need experience above knowledge. Altough in times of crisis they tend to hire new people because they're way cheaper then 30year old hardened employées.

Hehe interesting you mention that, I was knocked back for an IT traineeship this morning but I didn't give a toss because at the time I had an incredibly good chance of getting this cancer centre job...

well traineeship is basiclly good to fill up your curriculum and have a few refs.
it really helps a lot over here since you can say you've got some experience :)

Yeah thats true but if I can't even get those...

then pick any job you like doing and lookout for something else during the job.
you'll get money , you'll have some experience on the working floor.
IF they ask why you can easely reply you aren't the type to just hang around.
That's how i did it anyway :p

You can almost always get an unpaid internship unless a workplace is really small, extremely security-oriented, or its owners and managers don't like what is the essentially free monies of getting your services for free.
The tricky part is finding an unpaid internship where you'll really learn anything or make any significant connections. There's nothing wrong with fetching coffee if you're going to learn something, but if you're just there to be exploited and nothing else, you'll be wasting your time.

Hooters.

I am sort of tempted to phone up the sex shop and ask if they're hiring, mostly just for a laugh when I put it on my dole form

I say set off firecrackers into people's chests... oh, you mean cheering OTHERS up?
Nothing here.