frostcircus: OK, this ended up as a ridiculous hijack of Aliasalpha's thread, so I've decided not to inflict it on him and to instead give it its own topic. It's probably TL;DR (hard to tell in this tiny window), but maybe someone will read it and weigh in.
those socially less agile (i.e. people like us)
Honestly? I think this is a myth, though of course I can only speak for myself. I believed it for a long time, and perhaps it was true once, but upon taking a step back and observing myself, it definitely isn't now: I can hold my own in a conversation with anybody who's willing to actually have one, I have no problem speaking my mind, and I can even disagree with people's base beliefs without them feeling attacked. I think that's fairly agile, and while the internet and real life are not the same thing, I see a lot of these traits in people here.
Contrary to how it may look, most 'normal' people are surprisingly socially inept. They almost never make connections with one another - most of their 'main event' socialising consists of getting as wasted as possible, which helps them gather stories they can tell to one another. That's it. That's what passes for social interaction. It's the most simple process imaginable, and I flatly refuse to believe that anybody 'like us' couldn't pull it off if they wanted to.
Of course, despite my "wait, I actually interact pretty well" epiphany, I still have little to no social life - but I now take the rather arrogant stance that this is not because I'm somehow 'faulty,' but because most 'normal' people are lazy, weak and, frankly, boring. Theirs is the path of least resistance, and I refuse to label myself as somehow 'antisocial' because of this. That is an easy, common mistake to make.
The irony is that I am pretty much miserable pretty much all of the time, so I'm not actually going to give any advice on how to cheer up, because it's a skill I haven't mastered at all. But hopefully I can stop a few people (including AA?) from buying into this myth. I know first-hand that it can lead to completely misplaced self-loathing.
Okay, meandering off-topic ramble ends here, otherwise I'll start going on about 'pseudohedonism,' and breaking my 'stop abusing quotemarks' promise into even more tiny little pieces.
I think the points you raise here are excellent and are indicative of a fundamental lack of understanding of introverts.
This is a link to one of the few pieces of non-Shakespearean writing that has had a real effect on me and actually changed the way I view myself
http://www.jonathanrauch.com/jrauch_articles/caring_for_your_introvert/
Apparently the amount of web traffic this generated for the newspaper it was printed in was higher than any other article before or since, so much so that they did a follow up interview about it
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200602u/introverts I’ve actually realised over the last few years that I actually have excellent social skills. During my training at TAFE (Tech college), I had to give numerous presentations and do simulated tech support and after getting over the initial resistance to it (which I still have), I ended up doing extremely well. We videoed our major project presentations and as I watched them back both in editing and after I graduated, I was amazed at this guy who looked like me but was able to enthusiastically and energetically command the audience. Sure I needed an hour or 2 of silent solitude to recover from it but I got distinctions and that was all that mattered in the end.
Much the same seems true of my time at uni, particularly in my writing classes I have a tendency to command the room when I speak and I can adapt quickly to changes in discussions and give relevant and reasoned contributions to the conversation.
Overall I’d say my social skills are pretty damned good. What I really need now is characters of a high enough level that I can give them quests... oh damn, that’s another issue, if I ever find girls who are into games, it’s pretty much going to be one of 2 things, WoW or Peggle, both of which I hate.
frostcircus: now take the rather arrogant stance that this is not because I'm somehow 'faulty,' but because most 'normal' people are lazy, weak and, frankly, boring.
The dark side is strong in you, a powerful sith you will become... Needless to say I agree with you there, there’s a certain point where it’s just not cost effective to try with people unless they show some sign of being better than average. At the risk of harping on about it, I think this is another introvert/extrovert thing.
Most of the intro’s I’ve met have had the capacity, and far more importantly the INTEREST, to hold long discussions on a topic, drilling down to get to the meat of the matter and each coming away with something significant. By sharp contrast, most of the extro’s I’ve known have mostly been interested in talking about the footy. Their idea of a deep discussion is a debate about who’ll make the finals. I’ll admit that this is dramatically biased by being in country Australia where recreation is footy, the pub or talking about footy in the pub. There’s very little else to do in wagga, we don’t even have a bowling alley anymore and the ultimate tragedy is that it’s the dole office now! A source of fun has become a centre of obstructionist bureaucracy.
Nah no chance of me buying into that myth mate, I know I rock and I know that there’s nothing wrong with me, there’s only things wrong with the universe and the idiots within.
Hmm, maybe I should get back to that moonraker style plan to destroy the earth and save a select few to build a society founded on the principles of common sense, honesty and no DRM. Who wants to join me in a cool domed city on Mars?
