gscotti: There's actual SCIENCE on this: women mostly find full beards sexy, moustaches and goatees creepy.

cannard: What about stubble? I thought I read somewhere that women find that attractive. Well, I like the stubble look anyway.

cannard: Strangest, most roundabout way to make a giveaway thread I've seen so far...

Seriously though, I feel terribly embarrassed for even writing the following wahhfest. But it brought some minor catharsis, I suppose, except for the part some might take it for pathetic self-pitying, which is something I tend to do, but never in public. All I can say is, I am trying not to do this while still just getting out my issues I have out and about, and making sure the violin soloist gets hauled away by security if he shows up, but I thought, hey, this thread, I always like these kinds of threads 'cause I can relate to them the most, sadly, and everyone here is being very polite and civil so I thought, eh, why the fuuuuuuuck not (I really wish though this site had spoiler tags so anyone who doesn't want to read something can easily bypass it - oh, yeah, and also to hide legitimate spoilers when discussing certain movies, games & books too :P):

26 perma-virg here, or, ugh, "incel" if you will (I hate that word more than even perma-virgin mostly because of the association it has with the kind of people who use it). Though I have a long ways to go before I reach that marker, I don't even have friends, much less a girlfriend. I am not close/barely even know any of my immediate family either except one (not counting the pets). Any remotely social event I go to is just another means of going to a place to stand around and do nothing. And if I do get in a group where I get chatty I'm largely unacknowledged. I don't know why but for some reason I lack any kind of... presence. It's even the same on all the message boards I go to. I don't leave much of an impact or seem offer anything interesting, funny or whatever any place I go based on how people react, or rather, don't react to me. Oh and also I am dealing with depression too, whether it's clinical or brought on by my environment (I've gone through some crazy shit the past few years, crazy to me anyway, things that had come about that I would never ever predict would happen - it was all extremely rough-going, at first, but things have stabilized mostly; I still sometimes ponder in amazement that I am where I am today when things have gone by with barely a significant change or a clip for over a decade in a row), I don't know. It's caused me to become highly unproductive most times, make me easily irritable, and just my mood just shifts downhill so easily (and yes I have seen someone about it, I think I've seen like 4 or 5 therapists but they were all useless). Any challenge or task I try to accomplish, significant or not, that I ultimately fail at (which is a lot of things) instantly causes any remotely positive mood I have to go drown in shit creek and makes me volatile (not violent, mind you, let's keep those two things mutually exclusive). It certainly doesn't help improve my social life any. The closest people to "friends" I have are some high school acquaintances who I barely speak to anymore. High school was probably the closest thing to an OK social experience I had but far from great. Still when I see Facebook profiles of people I went to school with and how they're already married and/or have kids always astonishes me, even if there's nothing astonishing about it. I guess it's just high school, which I graduated 8 years ago from, feels like yesterday, and I must be stuck in that mentality while mostly everyone else has moved on.

Though I guess another problem is that I easily panic when I'm in a kind of "social" engagement where I'm trying to make an impression. It could be anything from casually conversing with someone I'll never speak to again in a classroom at a community college or a job interview. I'm not even going to bother asking anyone out, like there are many options for that available (as much as my hormonal states want to; now I'm starting to feel like they're a burden - oh how great it would feel to be asexual, though there is some stigmatization surrounding people who are such - not to the degree that gay people are, but... actually I don't know, never mind that). I must have some listening comprehension issues or something, I've had SO many times where people will talk about something and say/ask something to me, and I can't understand what they just said. I'll ask again, still won't understand, and so not to make things awkward and irritating for the other person I'll just nod along and let them go on.

Magnitus: *snip*
They will like the slightly unshaved look, but when the time comes to get physical, they will much prefer if you either sport a full beard or are clean shaven.

Just imagine rubbing your face and other body parts against sand paper for a couple of hours and you'll get the picture of what it's like for your partner.

fr33kSh0w2012: Dude Get Tested For Asperger's Syndrome you just described me to a tee thing is I've never EVER had a social Life Ever, Well at Least your High school years were nice and Social Mine were filled with school kids HUNTING me down and Literally Shredding me to bits each day every day I'd come home with another GAPING HOLE!

GhostwriterDoF: Once the perspective sinks in to your self awareness, that those issues you faced back then, and now, were more about the insecurities of those who persecuted you than you, those gaping holes in your psyche will fill in much more assuredly with the self confidence you should have had in yourself all along...

pimpmonkey2382: It's really not that hard. Talk to the opposite sex as respectfully as you would to someone as your same sex. I fail to see how this is somehow a huge challenge.

mondo84: I think the problem for some guys is that this happens. :p

But yes, you're correct. The thing is, some women may get tired of being hit on. When they sense that a guy just wants sex it probably makes them less interested to get to know them. Showing a genuine interest in someone is what helps build the relationship in the early stages.

gscotti: There's actual SCIENCE on this: women mostly find full beards sexy, moustaches and goatees creepy.

pimpmonkey2382: Can't be a huge sociopath and not talk either, then make excuses for it.

mondo84: ?

fr33kSh0w2012: This is what I mean you Nuero-Typicals don't understand me I mean't Physically I HAD A DAMN HOLE IN ME BIG ENOUGH TO FIT MY FIST INTO (I did that to stop the Bleeding!) Why don't you lot think More LITERAL for a change. Geez....