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General discussion (archive)1000+ ways to kill Kunovski(93 posts)(93 posts)
(93 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted November 21, 2011
I enjoyed a death scene from Warehouse 13 (similar one in an X-Men movie).

Have a high dose of metal injected into his blood and then put him near a large magnet.
Posted November 21, 2011
Find a way to trow him into Dwarf Fortress and let a Forgotten beast whit a deadly dust attack, the melt you from the inside kind, have a go.

Ok, that might be a bit to evil, but still. ;)
Posted November 21, 2011
make him listen to rebekka black (however its spelled) until his brain dribbles out his ears.
Posted November 21, 2011
Make him play Dragon Age 2 while listening to Justin Bieber's music.
Posted November 21, 2011
Here's one of my favourite imaginary ways to kill someone: 'death by spoon'

However, as I have no reason to want Kunovski dead, I'm reluctant to come up with any blood "final solutions to the Kunovski problem". In other words; we need some motivation (apart from greed, re the $5.99 game offered) of some sort. If I had to kill you, but knew and I liked you, I'd probably go for something like a heart attack while 'ploughing'. But if I really disliked you I might come up with something like having rats eat their way through your body to escape, or tie you up and have a whole kindergarden stab at you with scissors. Or alphabetically go through the methods used to get 'confessions' from 'witches' during the inquisition..

In short, there are millions of ways to kill someone, but shouldn't the method used somehow reflect the individual and/or his/her actions? Is there no longer room for poetry, for beauty and provocation of the mind, in a murder these days? Life is - should be - more than a videogame where you just shoot people/monsters/ufos, you know..
Posted November 21, 2011
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FraterPerdurabo: Beat him up really badly, cut open his stomach, fill it with honey, sew it shut and have him kill himself in his attempts at getting at the honey.
brutal and creative... and brutal... PM me :)
Posted November 21, 2011
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FraterPerdurabo:
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Kunovski: brutal and creative... and brutal... PM me :)
That's it?!
After just 18 entries? I thought we were going to see "1000 ways"...
Disappointing.
Posted November 21, 2011
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Kunovski: brutal and creative... and brutal... PM me :)
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iuliand: That's it?!
After just 18 entries? I thought we were going to see "1000 ways"...
Disappointing.
you have noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo idea how many lives to waste Kunovski has..................................
Posted November 21, 2011
Death by spoon!
Posted November 21, 2011
1.) Lock you up.

2.) Figure out what your greatest desires are in life.

3.) Put them just outside of your reach and consistently taunt you with them. For example, if it's love then I will keep locking up a love interest with you, then I would take her away. She will pretend to like you then at a pre-designated time she will berate and belittle you and then leave.

If it was wealth, I would present you with great riches and promise that if you win my "game" then you will be let go to enjoy your freedom and get to keep all of the riches. However, I will rig each "game" so that it appears winnable but you CANNOT win!

4.) On random days, I will spike the food/water I'm giving you with hallucinatory drugs. Just to mess with you.

5.) Each week, at a scheduled time, you will have a fingernail, toenail or tooth extracted. I will call this "rent." Sometimes I will play with you by delaying the scheduled time, making you think I forgot. BUT I DID NOT FORGET!

6.) Toddlers will be brought into the room once a week to beat you with sticks as you are tied down.

7.) Depending on my mood, your room will be constantly subjected to country music or rap at unprecedented decibels.

8.) When the music is not going, you will be watching the same episode of Joanie Loves Chachi over and over and over and over...

9.) You will urinate in a bucket. This urine will be collected and then periodically dropped on you from the ceiling as you sleep.

10.) After 2 years of this, a loaded shotgun "mysteriously" appears in the room. I'm not going to use it on you. It's just there....

This way, my conscience is blameless.



....I need therapy.
Post edited November 21, 2011 by stoicsentry
Posted November 21, 2011
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Kunovski: you have noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo idea how many lives to waste Kunovski has..................................
I think I know: 19 because after 18'th he couldn't take anymore... :D
Posted November 21, 2011
I'm blatently ripping of Brett Eastern Ellis, but hows about starving a savage rat for a week, shoving it up your bum and then sewing said oriface up so that the rat has no choice but to eats it's way out!

This is so weird - anywhere else this would be an extreme flame, here it makes you happy!
Post edited November 21, 2011 by Fever_Discordia
Posted November 21, 2011
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Kunovski: are you sure he wouldn't survive that? ;)
Pretty sure he won't.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GIFEUV4A6M
Post edited November 21, 2011 by kavazovangel
Posted November 21, 2011
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stoicsentry: 1.) Lock you up.

2.) Figure out what your greatest desires are in life.

3.) Put them just outside of your reach and consistently taunt you with them. For example, if it's love then I will keep locking up a love interest with you, then I would take her away. She will pretend to like you then at a pre-designated time she will berate and belittle you and then leave.

If it was wealth, I would present you with great riches and promise that if you win my "game" then you will be let go to enjoy your freedom and get to keep all of the riches. However, I will rig each "game" so that it appears winnable but you CANNOT win!

4.) On random days, I will spike the food/water I'm giving you with hallucinatory drugs. Just to mess with you.

5.) Each week, at a scheduled time, you will have a fingernail, toenail or tooth extracted. I will call this "rent." Sometimes I will play with you by delaying the scheduled time, making you think I forgot. BUT I DID NOT FORGET!

6.) Toddlers will be brought into the room once a week to beat you with sticks as you are tied down.

7.) Depending on my mood, your room will be constantly subjected to country music or rap at unprecedented decibels.

8.) When the music is not going, you will be watching the same episode of Joanie Loves Chachi over and over and over and over...

9.) You will urinate in a bucket. This urine will be collected and then periodically dropped on you from the ceiling as you sleep.

10.) After 2 years of this, a loaded shotgun "mysteriously" appears in the room. I'm not going to use it on you. It's just there....

This way, my conscience is blameless.



....I need therapy.
O_o
Posted November 21, 2011
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FraterPerdurabo: Beat him up really badly, cut open his stomach, fill it with honey, sew it shut and have him kill himself in his attempts at getting at the honey.
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Kunovski: brutal and creative... and brutal... PM me :)
Thanks and done!
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This is my favourite topic
Community
General discussion (archive)1000+ ways to kill Kunovski(93 posts)(93 posts)
(93 posts)