Banned because I was playing poker with Brad and got aces and eights.

For anyone unfamiliar with poker, this hand is legendary for the luck that it brings.

Brad is now banned from this thread for wearing a dress to the Oscars.

^ banned for being dealt, "The Deadman's Hand"

Banned because how else is one supposed to deal the cards he would not let go?

Banned for not letting go of that subject and moving on to a new one.

^ banned, because she's got the Jack!

Banned because when you have a hand of all 4 Queens, that should be called a Harem.

^ banned for not knowing what a hand with all four queens and a one-eyed Jack is called

Banned for poking out a Jack's second eye as a form of cheating and expecting to get away with it.

Banned because it's only cheating if you are caught.

Banned for claiming the Fiveling hand was legit.

Banned for having seven cards, which is more than you're supposed to have, and expecting nobody to notice, but of course they do, and then they accuse you of cheating, and you tell them that it's preposterous.

^ banned for being a wild card

Banned for being a tame card.

^ banned for losing your man card