Banned because I'm mortified!

Banned for knowing when is a good time to morb.

^ Banned for not being a fan of Lara Croft

Banned because Tomb Raider used to be a Playstation exclusive title.

Banned, because it's DOS, Sega Saturn and Playstation version were all released the same year, it even got had Voodoo upport (on PC only of course). Doesn't sound very exclusive to me.
Edit: My bad, it WAS exclusive ... for 5 weeks on Sega Saturn.

^ banned, for being BAD

Banned for posting a ripoff of FAT

Banned for having a usb thumb drive that isn't FAT32.

Banned for forcing 32 fat thumpstalls to carry your cat videos.

^ banned for never replacing the cat's litter

Banned because it's not my fault Cole likes to sleep there.

^ banned, because I expect that Coal will have a bed of coal on which to slumber next Christmas morning

Banned for sending the clowns away, now I have to send them back in

^ *throws the cannibal who was eating a cloned clown and mentioned that it 'didn't taste funny to him'*

Banned because the clown was stored and cooked properly.