Banned because I'm going to Camp Crystal Lake to see what happened to my friends

Banned because i might be drunk, but there are rumors that you are a thief of jewels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!

^ banned for being three sheets to the wind, drunker than Cooter Brown, woke up in the bathtub with your clothes on, crawled in through the window, drunk

Banned for not doing the same thing, and instead passing out with a bowl of nachos on your belly, which then fell on the floor.

Banned because they are still edible if you follow the five second rule.

^ banned, because give 'em back, that's "nacho" cheese

WHO FORGOT TO FEED THE GOG BEAR FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS?! Everyone's banned until someone admits it!

Banned because I know who did it. I'll be willing to say who for a modest fee. As the saying goes, "snitches get riches".

Banned because snitches won't get riches. The inaccessibility of this thread for the past few days has made the job of many banning officers redundant, and when there's no one to ban, there's no officers to pay. Therefore, the banning officers do not have the money to pay for that modest fee you ask for. You just have to spill the beans for free!

Banned for not volunteering for the registered charity "The Royal Society for Banning People", where people get banned out of the goodness of the volunteers' hearts.

I can understand though if you are too busy volunteering for the Royal Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things to ban people in your off hours.

Banned because I still needed the money to put food on the table for people like J Lo, Hooyaah, InSaintMonoxide, LegoDnD, and HeresMyAccount. They've been whining nonstop for not having dinner yesterday.

Banned for not inviting me to the dinner party.

Banned because Mortius1 is responsible for preparing your dinner. I mean look at him, he's a tiger. Both of you belong to the same Felidae family.

^ banned because if one the largest species of cat to have ever existed (such as Smilodon) fought one of the largest of family Ursidae, (such as Arctodus simus) the "bear" would emerge victorious

EDIT:

This means the GOG bear beats both cat members and wins this discussion.

Banned because I thank you for solving the mystery! It appears that since the cat members of this thread lost to the GOG Bear, they became disgruntled and refused to pay tribute to the GOG Bear as a sign of submission. Therefore the GOG Bear became furious and decided to prevent access to this thread for everyone! *nods nods* Yes, great work detective Hooyaah! I'm impressed!