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Banned because i called your company and it doesn't even sell umbrellas.
Banned because our marketing department is working on a new name.
^ banned, because if you do not like the name, "umbrella," you may use the word, "bumbershoot," instead
Banned for trying to steal my face. And for surreptitiously farting in the hallowed halls of our great and wonderful forum, while laughing uproariously.
Banned for shooting bumbers.
^ banned for allowing yourself to be ninjaed
Banned for preventing any ninjas from taking you by surprise.
Banned for thinking that ninjas can be prevented.
Banned because that's the whole point of security.
Banned for trading liberty for security and deserving neither.
^ banned for not refreshing the tree of liberty with the blood of patriots
Banned for omitting the blood of tyrants too
Banned for not supplying tyrannosaur blood.
Banned because we can't all work in chicken slaughterhouses.
Banned because I felt bad that no one wanted to ban you. So there's your ban, you masochist.