Banned for playing Anstoss 3: Der Fußballmanager on your cellphone.

Banned for using characters that aren't present on a keyboard.

Banned, because your keyboard doesn't have Any key.

Banned because i wanna play Unreal Tournament. NOOOW!! START THE GODDAMN GAME!!

Banned for being an impatient patient.

Banned for being impatient about InSaintMonoxide's impatience. I remember playing Unreal Tournament back in 2000, so I can only imagine how impatient I'd be if I had to wait 22 years to play it!

^ banned because having to wait that quantity of time is unreal

Banned because I hate my job and I'm taking it out on you.

^ banned because it is far better to be stoneless than stoneless and jobless

Banned for throwing the first stone.

^ banned for getting him stoned

Banned because throwing stones is for pre-paleolithic mongrels.

Banned for missing the 2019 stone skipping championship

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_skipping#Men's_World_Skimming_Championship_winners_by_year

^ banned because I would not have "skipped" that if you have given us a "heads up"

^ Banned for not playing Thief II: The Metal Age co-op with me.