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Banned for partying like it’s 1996
Banned for using a calendar that is 26 years old.
Banned for not looking at the page number
Banned for thinking that a page number represents a year, which would imply that we've been posting since biblical times, and although it may seem as though we have, computers didn't even exist then.
Banned because the only way to know if computers were around in biblical times is to ask someone from that era.

/joking
Banned for joking about computers
Banned for computing a lot of jokes.
banned for being the joke.
Banned because bans are no laughing matter.
Banned! Speak for yourself! I find bans hilarious. Can someone provide me with one?
Banned because you asked for it.
Banned for honoring requests.
Banned for insulting my honour.
Banned for pretending to have honour.
Banned for pretending to honour halves.