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Banned because conspiracy-nut-allergy sufferers just are too weak. The Joining may claim its victims but fighting the blight, I mean conspiracies is worth some sacrifices.
I ban all 5 of you for not getting my Veggie Tales reference!
Banned for watching childish cartoons instead of South Park.
banned because you killed Kenny in Kilkenny County, Ireland You bastard!
Banned for being geographically inclined.
HMA is banned for thinking I need to choose one over the other.

Elefuntitus because I saw a woman with huge swollen foot this one time at a fancy diner.
Banned for trying to be cool by banning two people instead of one like the title of the games says.
Banned for being late to the party, I do that all the time.

And I ban myself for telling an unrelated story!
Banned for forgetting to invite everyone and me to the party
Banned, because you have no idea what kind of party that is.
^ banned for not mentioning that it's a political party
Banned for giving away my secrets.
Banned for not taking back your secrets.
Banned for not packing secrets in your backpack.
Banned for keeping things in your backpack a secret because they're stolen!