Granted: The laws of physics are changed to allow for hawking radiation to be brightly visible.

Unfortunately, this change to the laws of physics makes the universe incapable of intelligent life, hence there's nobody to enjoy this festivity.

I wish more people knew about CivClicker.
Granted: You can pause reality for whenever someone posts a link to a site that auto-plays audio.

(Note: I didn't actually follow the video link; I just determined that the link is to a site that auto-plays audio, which I consider bad internet etiquette.)

I use Firefox when watching Youtube videos and it's not on autoplay when I open the link.

Here's from Google:
https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6327615?co=GENIE.Platform%3DDesktop&hl=en

Granted, more people know about Civclicker, but they think it's a stupid game and harass and bully anybody who likes it.

I wish that there were living woolly mammooths again.

Granted and they remember that our ancient human ancestors originally exterminated them and seek vengeance.

I wish that Jimmy Carter wins the 2020 US presidential election.

Granted, but he dies in office at the age of 101, and the curse of the 'Election Year Ending in Zero' is back again in full force.

I wish sneakers/trainers were considered acceptable formal wear.

Granted, kids start to wear derby shoes because everybody and their grandmas wear those uncool sneakers now.

I wish clothing sizes were standardized and unified worldwide.

Granted, on the condition that they have to be worn with a dress.

Actually, I can go further: While sneakers are acceptable for the feet, the *only* acceptable (visible) clothing to wear on your torso or legs is a dress. This applies to both men and women (as well as other genders, of course).

I wish for a table top RPG in which women are clearly mechanically superior to men.

Oops, missed this.

Granted, in a way: Women's clothing sizes have now been standardized world wide, much to the cheers of women everywhere.

Unfortunately, the vanity sizing that previously affected women's clothing now affects men's clothing, is clearly not standardized, and you encounter situations where the same size number is too big from one manufacturer, and too smal from another one.

Furthermore, pockets disappear from clothes entirely.

Granted, nobody buys it because of the blatant sexism and it becomes the butt of every joke in tabletop circles for years.

Because I was ignored yet again: Shoot, I wish I had the maps of every multiplayer game to myself. How's that a corruption?

Granted, but you have no one to play them with.

I wish there were a game like Final Fantasy 11, complete with its job system and regular updates, except that the game be a single player game and playable (and installable) without an internet connection.

Wish granted, but it's a one woman job and it will be out of beta in 2038.

I wish all apples were nectarines.

Granted, we are all still living in garden eden, naked with fig leaves on our faces. 8 billion people means immense overpopulation in such a small place, so there's always some uncomfortable rubbing going on...

I wish megacorporations would be split up, starting with Investment trusts and tech corporations.

Granted, all mega corporations are split up over night destroying the worlds economy, logistics and infrastructure not scene since the fall of the Roman Empire, and without such 9 in 10 people worldwide are dead within six months.

I wish for excellent modern remake or squeal to the classic SNES platformer Plok.

Granted. With a squeal, a remake comes out, and it's a hidden object game.

I wish for a non-tactical turn based RPG where the numbers can grow as big as they do in Disgaea.

Granted, but the game has extreme homophobic, transphobic and misogynist elements (the creators of Rapelay are involved in its making). Unless one is a hateful pervert, one can't derive any joy from it.

I wish for unconditional basic income to become a global reality.

Granted, but the rich people don't like this. They want this thing, earning income without working, to be their exclusive privilege. They want all other people, which is overwhelming super majority, to work like being slaves just to survive another day. So they send message (and money) to the for-profit media, which is most of them, that this is bad. A lot of people watch and believe those media. As a result, this policy is dropped everywhere in the world. Those who still advocate for it will be crucified.

I wish I could move my facial hair to someone else's face, so I wouldn't have to shave every couple of days.