It was a time of change. The Christian heresy was encroaching from the west, and the sylvan liege had locked tight the gates of his arboreal realm. The wolves were baying at the door of the righteous and my most loyal men had fallen at the hands of crusaders, thieves and traitors.
And so it was that towards the end of the Age of Imamah, I did prepare myself, for what would be my most fateful battle.

If a vacuum cleaner sucks, is it good or bad?

How many MicroSoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Zero. MicroSoft will just define darkness as a new feature/standard.

That reminds me of this...
-When will the time come that a new MicroSoft product won't suck?
-When they'll make vacuum cleaners!

A very prominently Jewish gentleman, spending his holiday in Ireland, enters a bar in his traditional Jewish garbs. At once, a dozen of patrons surround him, and someone asks, "What's your religion?" The gentleman, baffled, asks, "Can't you see I'm a Jew?!" The patron answers "Yes, yes, I see that, but are you a Catholic or a Protestant Jew?"

Why shouldn't you tell secrets on a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beanstalk.

Some assorted jokes

There are 10 types of people in the world:
Those who know ternary, those who don't ans those who confuse it binary.

Q: If you call someone who knows two languages ‘bilingual’ and someone who knows three languages ‘trilingual,’ what do you call someone who knows only one language?
A: An American

Einstein, Newton and Pascal were playing hide and seek. It was Einstein's turn to find Newton and Pascal, so he started counting to a hundred. Pascal ran off to hide, while Newton walked behind Einstein and drew a one meter square on the ground behind Einstein and stood in the centre of it. When Einstein was finished counting, he opened his eyes and turned around.
"Newton!" he said, "I found you!"
"No," replied Newton, "You found Pascal."

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Damn!

BTW can the guy above me PM why the Newton joke is so funny/corny cos i dont get it *herpderp*

Pascal = 1 Newton per square meter

that is the worst joke ive ever heard.

What did the ghost say to the bee?
Boo bee

What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi!

I don't know why people are so quick to mock redheads.

They've already made Darwin look foolish, who knows just how powerful they might be?

Back to my old tricks...

RUDE JOKE FOLLOWS!!!










If you have sex with a prostitute without her permission, is it rape... or shoplifting?












RUDE JOKE ENDED

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

Ow.

What do you call someone with no arms or legs?

Names.