toroca: The problem with politicized conversations only comes when the opposing sides start to see each other as enemies and begin to treat each other that way. To me, that's the biggest problem these days, particularly in the US but certainly not exclusively so.
If you don't like the topic or the opinions on display, no one's forcing you to read them or comment on them. As botan9386 said, the mods can kill this topic if they wish.
FarkFarkBarkBark: I just wanted to commend you for this entire post, especially these bits. You seem to be able to stay calm and collected and write decent civil responses, so kudos for that. Still gotta work on my own (rare but they still occur) tendencies to worry about "sides" and reply accordingly , but I hope with time i'll make some progress Cheers!
Sorry to bump this thread after several days, but this is the first chance I've had to get to the library and get online since my last post, and I wanted to reply to this bit.
Fark, I appreciate the kind words, but the truth is I happen to be someone with a short temper, so I don't always do as well in the real world as I usually do online with remaining civil. ;)
For me, the difference is with a text conversation like this, I
NEVER post without rereading what I've written all the way through at least once, and usually more than once, making tweaks as I go. This is part of the reason my posts on forums have always tended to be wordy/lengthy, I keep adding stuff as new thoughts occur to me during the rereading.. It's been that way for me since the early days of the internet when I was in high school, and I'm in my 40s now.
One consequence of doing it this way is that when a response is triggered by momentary anger or incredulity at something someone else has said, I often have time to cool off before submitting my response. I have a short temper, as I said, but it also rarely lasts very long. I can be
absolutely furious at something, but when five minutes has passed I've calmed back down and looked at the situation more reasonably.
I don't fare as well in real-world arguments, face-to-face, where I don't have the time to so carefully consider my words and formulate a better response. Once you speak the words, you can't take them back, and that has bitten me on the rear more than once in my life. I'm not saying I run around getting in arguments with people all the time or anything like that, but it does happen more often face-to-face than online for me.
If you really look at most flame wars online, regardless of what forum you're on, there are almost always two common denominators:
one, trolls usually get involved and amp the tension up, and
two, the people who aren't initially
trying to be trolls start posting too rapidly, without taking the time to think about what they're saying.
For me, staying civil online comes down almost entirely to taking the time to think about what I want to say, and life experience has taught me that if you actually want to try to convince someone to
consider your point of view in a discussion, well, you won't accomplish that by pissing them off. If I'm going to use my time participating in a conversation, regardless of what the topic is, I don't want to have people dismiss me out of hand just because I decided to act like a jerk. ;)
*points upward* See? Much wordier than I intended to be, but I kept thinking of more thoughts to add during rereads. :D