The exam is in progress.
Professor: - On board the plane - 500 bricks. One brick fell out of the plane. How many bricks are left on board?

Student: - Well, it's easy! 499!

Professor: - Right. Next question. How to put an elephant in the refrigerator in 3 steps?

Student: - 1. Open the refrigerator. 2. Put the elephant there. 3. Close the refrigerator!

Professor: - Good. How to put a deer in the refrigerator in four steps?

Student: - 1. Open the refrigerator. 2. Get the elephant out. 3. Put the deer down. 4. Close the refrigerator!

Professor: - Excellent! Next question: The lion, the king of beasts, has a birthday! All the animals came except one.
Why?

Student: - Because the deer is still in the refrigerator!

Professor: - Great! Further. Can Granny walk through a swamp with crocodiles?

Student: - Of course it can! After all, all the crocodiles at the birthday party are "lions"!

Professor: - Good! And now the last question: Granny went through an empty swamp, but she died anyway! What happened to her?

Student: - Eh uh! She drowned?

Professor: - But no! A brick fell on her, which fell out of the plane! FOR RETAKE!

Lego My Eggo!

Seven of Nine Star Trek Jokes Are Funny.

Why did the dermatologist retire?

He developed a rash personality.

A Jewish kid goes up to his dad and says "Dad, dad can I have 50 dollars?"

And his dad says "40 dollars? What do you need 30 dollars for?"

We baked some synonym buns... Just like grammar used to make.

One of my fondest childhood memories was making sandcastles with my grandmother,
until my mum took away the urn.

What does a Russian pilot say to a Japanese pilot when they're impressed?

"Sukhoi! Nice flying there, buddy!"

Nice one lol

The reason that I never mention to my girlfriend that I have noticed that she has put on some weight since we started dating is because of this Medical Study that I read.

"Most women with a little extra weight live significantly longer than the man who mentions it."

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

A man died today after falling into an industrial vat of coffee. Witnesses say it was instant.

A man who emits flatus in church sits in his own pew.

Why was the undertaker investigated after the cemetery was full?


To see if he had skeletons in his closet!

Do you have prince Albert in a can?

You do? You better let the poor bugger out then!