A guy with a certain "problem" goes to the doctor. After the doctor hears the "embarrassing issue," he makes a suggestion.

He proposed this: "Why don't you find just the right lady. I'm talking about a woman who's oozing sex appeal and sensuality. Then, you should have no problem at all, good sir!"

The patient replied, "But doc, I already went and met with Mae West and she told me, "And see me when you 'come up' sometime."

EDIT: I just made this one up. However, that doesn't mean that someone else hasn't published it already, if you know what I mean.

A guy entered a cyberpunk-themed virtual bar and asked the AI bartender for a "Neon Dream"
AI bartender: That's a new cocktail. I'll have to hack the recipe
The guy: Is it safe?
AI bartender: Don't worry, it's just a virus in a glass.

I think we need to queer things up a little. So here goes:

Jaime goes to the fortuneteller, and the fortuneteller says: "I see a woman in your future".

Years pass. Jaime is still single.

So, Jaime goes back to the fortuneteller, and asks: "You said you saw a woman in my future, but I haven't found a girlfriend; I'm still single." The fortuneteller then replies: "Honey, you have become a nice fine woman, and *you* are the woman I saw years ago."

(Note that this joke was written with the constraint of using no third-person pronouns.)

once apon a time as young man dreamed he would become a great game developer.
he searched out people to help bring his visions to life.
people listened to him till he demanded to be part of the company.

then no one wanted to know him anymore.
the end.

the name of that company is CDPR

Why did a cultist cross the road?
To get you to the "other side".

What did the pastor say to the boy who skipped mass on Ash Wednesday?
Get your ash back over here!

There was a funny joke about the Guyana cultists' mass suicide.

I would post it here, but the punch line was too long.