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Incorrect statements:
(1) only role that really benefits from 25PB is something melee
All roles benefit from 25 pt buy, since there are enough good/great weapons/items that any class can do consistent damage without expending per rest resources. If you're not doing this you're missing half the game.
(2) the fact only unfair-viable melee companion is Valerie and you do need more than one melee.
Every companion save Jubilost is melee viable, and most benefit from being there for positioning/flanking purposes.
(3) all dex builds are out of the window.
Dex melee is inferior to STR melee due to Enlarging effects boosting strength. But there are ways and reasons (position for songs and spells, say) to have a DEX meleer aside from pure damage.
(4) Animal companions don’t count for much here as they don’t have mirror image and there is no way to give it to them. In effect it means that you will spend a minute buffing them before they get oneshot and you are left with less slots and wasted time.
You can tank the whole game with Okbo. It doesn't take a minute to buff him and most of the buffs are long lasting. Usually even a one shot crit isn't quite enough, especially if you top him off with Aid and the like, and giving him Outflank via Huntmaster makes him an offensive force.
(5) What you need is over-time effects that force a lot of checks. If you are stacked enough on casting stats/feats enemies are bound to fail even if it’s their strong save just by the sheer amount of saves forced. Only reasonable exception is glitterdust as it’s just that awesome.
Glitterdust is a second level spell that hits your own team and allows a save every round. The spell you're thinking of is Slow. If you're playing well over-time effects are fine but not great as you should be dispatching most enemies in a round or three. AoE control spells targeting weak saves are fine, especially debuffed by Shaken effects (that also turn on Shatter Defenses) and Archon's Aura and the like.
(6) By priorities you need:
Community III
Loyalty III
Divine III Although it might not happen as fast as you’d want.
Arcane III
Then every other primary III to unlock all advisors. Then whatever you have free advisor for, pretty much.
First priority is Divine 60 to unlock Arcane and Arcane 40 to unlock Teleportation Circles to save tons of traveling time. You can do that by building crosses of Shrines with a monument in the middle in your first three villages and keeping Harrim free to do events using all available crisis points. Any time not spent on rank ups/artisans delays quality items and various other kingdom benefits (immunities/mountain climbing, etc...). That includes rest. You get a lot more songs and bombs per rest than spells. Use a Bard and Jub and build everyone to fight.
Finally, mercs suck. Every companion gets powerful rewards from their companion quests and superior point buys.