I abused GamersGate Bethesda sale last night, and as a result I have two duplicate keys. I figured I might as well give them away here to celebrate Solstice / Hanukkah / Christmas / Midvinters blot / What-ever.

The games are:

Fallout: New Vegas - Ultimate Edition
RAGE
(Both games are on Steam)

However, to make it more interesting, it will be in a form of a competition. The rules are simple:

1 - Create a sales pitch based on any historical or famous person as a used car salesman
Example (taken from the Humble THQ Bundle thread) - Immanuel Kant as a used car salesman:
"“A vehicle like this is man’s leaving his self-caused immaturity. Immaturity is the incapacity to use one's car without the guidance of another. Such immaturity is self-caused if it is not caused by lack of credit, but by lack of determination and courage to use one's credit rating without being guided by another. Sapere Audi! Have the courage to buy this car! is therefore the motto of the enlightenment...”

2 - State which game(s) you are interested in

3 - I will declare the winner(s) when I can be bothered (a couple of days, a week, a year?). The winner(s) are those entries which amuses me most.

4- ????????

5 - Profit

So go out there and lets shift these cars!

Really cool idea for competition. I like the originality.

+1 to you sir.

I would enter (really want F: NV), but my writing skillz suck so.. yeah.

I'm in for Fallout NV UE

Jack the ripper as used car salesman.

"This new technology is fantastic. Before that, I must take a coach to do my work, and sometimes I was forced to leave corps in alley or things like that.
Now with these coach without horses, I can take my victims out easily, and after that I can take thei bodies up and throw'em on the river. My job is changed thanks to a cas, so buy one right now! And if you buy one car before 1st January you will receive a knife as bonus!

Fallout: New Vegas - Ultimate Edition
JFK used car salesman:
"Ask not what this car can do for you - ask what you can do for this car."

Not in, but thanks and +1.

I did not plan on participating, but this suddenly came over me.
So I wanted to share it. Ah, I hope it's not too offensive.
Just a joke so don't jump me please.

George W. Bush

"Look at it, this fine American car. It stands for our pride, and our freedom, to resell!"
George rubs his face against the windscreen
"Mmh, can you smell the magnificent machinery, a veteran, I can smell the fights it fought for our country, carrying our fellow humans through the day.
Do you smell the oil?"
A bulge forms on his trousers
"Oh the oil!"
He suddenly rips his clothes from his body jumping onto the car, his prick dangling in the sun, he grabs the hose of a nearby filling station and splurges the black gold all over his body, and the car.
"Buy this car today! You will receive two liters of oil to use as you please."
Caressing his body with one hand and pouring oil in his hair while saying so
"And an AMERICAN gun to protect our FREEDOM. FOR FREE! DOM! HAHAHAHAHA"
"So, wanna buy it?" A gun cocks behind your head.
"Great so that's settled, ah ha!"
He hops between the oil puddles like a child after rainfall for a moment until he takes out two canisters of oil and an automatic rifle.
"Here, have fun with it, fresh oil from the middle east"
He goes back to play some more with the black liquid

I'd like Fallout: NV UE, but either and nothing is totally fine with me, although I belive I couldn't get RAGE to run properly. Hope you liked it. Happy hoildays!

Not in, but thanks and +1 for your generosity, amok!

Also, a little promotion in the Giveaways' Directory:
http://www.gog.com/forum/general/how_does_one_make_a_gift_aka_gifting_on_gog_for_dummies/post558

Not in, but a great competition idea, looking forward to reading the entries, plusssage for your genorousity Amok :)

Fallout NV UE

Hamlet as used car salesman:

"To buy, or not to buy: that is the question:
Whether 'tis noble a bus ride to suffer
With stinks and elbows of outrageous urchins,
Or to drive cars past the unwashed masses,
And by o'ertaking mock them?"

In for Rage (already got FNV).

Winston Churchill:
"Even though large numbers of customers may choose or already have chosen different cars, this car shall not flag or fail. It shall go on to the end. You can drive it even in France, you can take it across the seas and oceans, with growing confidence and growing strength. You can drive it on an island, if you will, and still the cost will be low. Drive it on the beaches, drive it on the fields and in the streets, drive it in the hills; this car shall never let you down, and if, which I do not for a moment believe, this car or a part of it were to break down, then our mechanics across the world, prepared and qualified like no one else, would make the repairs, until, in God's good time, this car, with all its power and might, will be on the road again."


Of course, one of the best used car salesmen was portrayed by Michael Palin (together with Graham Chapman, in John Cleese's "How to irritate people"):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9igQ18GIqvc

Despite of the obvius hipocricy I will enter this competition, for fallout new vegas.

Joseph Stalin pitching the "car":
"History has shown that there are no invincible armies, but if 1 was to try to make 1 this new technology would be the first step in the right direction. Everyone imposes his own System as far as his army can reach, and with the car you can triple that reach."

It's bad but im sitting on the toilet writing it, so I guess you'd expect what came out to be shit :s

I'm going for rage.

Winston Churchill:
Britain, I address you now. We have triumphed over the Germans, over the Japanese due to our will, our strength, our courage. We have shown the whole world that we are not weak, that we are strong and that we must remain strong. We must be prepared for any upcoming ...... conflict. We must be able to respond to the enemy threat in our homes, our neighborhoods. When the enemy comes knocking at our door we must be versatile - we must be prepared. Our army is strong, our air force victorious and our navy still rules the seas but our enemies are not like us, they are not civilized men. I tell you they will strike, and in the face of such men, men who simply want to watch the world burn we must run not because of fear but because these men are not reasonable. When you cut off a head, two more grow to take its place. . And so, the car, my good people, the car will be the vehicle of our escape.

I'll have a shot at Fallout New Vegas

I'm assuming I can use fictional characters, as Hamlet was mentioned.

Salesman Williams

"All right you slack jawed gear heads, listen up! This...is...my DEATHCOASTER! It's a heavily modified Oldsmobile, created by yours truly to fight demons. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the automobiles section. That's right, it was made in the middle ages, right outside of King Arthur's castle, using his finest Forge. Retails for about $5,000.99. It's got razor sharp blades and multiple layers of the finest plot armor. That's right...shop smart: Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!"

Thanks, and +1
Best of luck to everyone :)

I would like Fallout NV please :)
Dwight D. Eisenhower,Supreme Commander, General of the Army, and President.
-----------------------------------------------
Geeks, Nerds and Basement Dwellers of the Allied Gaming Force ! You are about to embark upon a great crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The hopes and prayers of video game loving people everywhere march with you. In company with our brave Allies and brothers in games on other fronts, you will bring about the destruction of the Legion war machine, the elimination of Caesar tyranny over the oppressed peoples of Nevada, and security for ourselves in a free world.
Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well equipped and battle hardened, he will fight savagely.
But this is the year 2281! Much has happened since the Caesar triumphs of 2246-77. The NCR have inflicted upon the Legion great defeats, in open battle, man to man. Our air offensive has seriously reduced their strength in the air and their capacity to wage war on the ground. Our home fronts have given us an overwhelming superiority in weapons and munitions of war, and placed at our disposal great reserves of trained fighting men. The tide has turned! The free men of the world are marching together to victory!
I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty and skill in battle. We will accept nothing less than full victory!
Good Luck! And let us all beseech the blessings of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.
------------------------------------------------
Does this count as an entry? If it doesn't, you obviosly Don't like "Ike".