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General discussion (archive)Stupid question, Looking for honest answers.(112 posts)(112 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted December 11, 2012
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JaqFrost: The park sounds like a good first date. Personally, I like low-pressure first dates because then I'm under the illusion that the guy in question isn't expecting to get sex because he paid for an expensive meal or what-have-you.
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Nroug7: Well I'm certainly not looking for sex straight off the bat and why should a guy expect it just because he paid for a meal? That's not a gentleman, that's just a guy pretending to be a gentleman to satisfy his own physical needs while leeching of someones emotional well-being.
Well said. You sir are going to be a great catch for some lucky lady.
Posted December 11, 2012
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Nroug7: Well I'm certainly not looking for sex straight off the bat and why should a guy expect it just because he paid for a meal? That's not a gentleman, that's just a guy pretending to be a gentleman to satisfy his own physical needs while leeching of someones emotional well-being.
Like others have said, this woman already knows you and has probably already made up her mind on whether she's likely to date you, so I wouldn't worry too much. The game idea sounds sweet and 'being gentlemanly' is very endearing.
Posted December 11, 2012
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dirtyharry50: The pokemon thing qualifies as a great romantic thing to do later on if all goes well. Little thoughtful surprises like that show you are fond of her and will make her feel special. Save that one for later though.

The most important thing is simply to just be yourself, the guy she already likes. I agree if she is playing footsie with you it seems pretty clear she likes you.

I think the park is a great idea. The next time you are speaking to each other in person, just come right out and ask her. Keep it simple. Just ask her if she'd like to go to the park together, mention things you could do there, etc. My guess is she will say yes.

If she does say yes, try to relax and just enjoy the time with her that day. Be yourself. Enjoy her company. At some point get your courage up and tell her you really like her and thank her for coming to the park with you. Beyond that, just enjoy the time talking to her as you normally would. It's okay to be shy sometimes. It always better to be your true self. If she likes you, she'll find that endearing about you. Don't worry over it.

Hopefully she says yes to a first date and all goes well. Be ready with a follow up. You might say something like, "It was fun being with you today. Want to <whatever next date idea you come up with here>? Maybe you could get together for some gaming fun, go out to eat, see a movie, etc. I'm sure you'll come up with something. :D
Spot on advice there!
Posted December 11, 2012
Don't make things too complicated. I know that men can find women difficult to figure out, but it works the other way too; an ambiguous or indirect approach might pass her as a random act of weirdness. I'd say it's best to just play it straight and ask her out, although this might have something to do with my rather outspoken let's-get-on-with-it kind of personality. The park sounds like a good idea, though.

If she agrees and the date goes alright, at the end of the date - when you're saying goodbye and all that - you pretty much have to express that you had a good time and would like to have another date in the near future (if you haven't got the next occasion planned by then, just tell her you'll call or send her a text message or something). If you don't, she might well expect that things didn't turn out as you would have liked to. I know because this was the biggest cock-up of one of my dates. Things turned out well in the end, but a less patient woman might have given up at that point, so better avoid the risk.

EDIT: By the way, those weren't stupid questions as far as I can tell.
Post edited December 11, 2012 by AlKim
Posted December 11, 2012
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dirtyharry50: The pokemon thing qualifies as a great romantic thing to do later on if all goes well. Little thoughtful surprises like that show you are fond of her and will make her feel special. Save that one for later though.
My thoughts exactly. I would do such things to a girl I'm already in close relations. You never know how a girl might react to a pokemon from a "stranger" :P

On the other hand, they already know each other, so the pokemon thing might be spot-on.

My "advice" : take that risk, dude! :D
Post edited December 11, 2012 by keeveek
Posted December 11, 2012
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AlKim: By the way, those weren't stupid questions as far as I can tell.
Quoting time: "There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers"
Post edited December 11, 2012 by amok
Posted December 11, 2012
IDK, I'm not one for saying "OMG LOVE Causes this and that" But up until now, I haven't really had such strong desires to ask a woman out. I've had crushes before, but I've given up on them because I've always realized that my "Heart" wasn't in it, so to speak. I've just got such a weird feeling this time o_o.

I guess I considered it as a stupid question because I haven't had much prior experience with this kind of thing.
Post edited December 11, 2012 by Nroug7
Posted December 11, 2012
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StingingVelvet: Confidence. Walk up to her, flirt, laugh, ask her to do something.
Indeed. Try this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKq_t4qsUMM#t=0m4s
Posted December 11, 2012
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Nroug7: I can do the rest, And I did plan on asking her out verbally but this pokemon idea is probably something she might find more creative and better since it is one of her interests, and therefore, might be a better option.

The location I planned on asking her out to was a park, I can cover a wide variety of activities there, we can just talk, walk around, hell, even exercise (she loves bike riding) if we want too. There's tons that could be done at that type of location. Plus, It has some nice water views.
As someone else said it's too much too fast at first. You have this whole plan and fantasy going but she is a person, not a role in your personal romantic movie.

Just talk to her like a normal person.
Posted December 11, 2012
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Nroug7: I can do the rest, And I did plan on asking her out verbally but this pokemon idea is probably something she might find more creative and better since it is one of her interests, and therefore, might be a better option.

The location I planned on asking her out to was a park, I can cover a wide variety of activities there, we can just talk, walk around, hell, even exercise (she loves bike riding) if we want too. There's tons that could be done at that type of location. Plus, It has some nice water views.
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StingingVelvet: As someone else said it's too much too fast at first. You have this whole plan and fantasy going but she is a person, not a role in your personal romantic movie.

Just talk to her like a normal person.
I'm going to be honest here, I picked the park based on both of our hobbies and how they would mesh together, Since she is interested in a lot of the same stuff I figured that would be the best place.

I understand she is a person, and this is why I have spent a fair amount of time getting to know her and her hobbies, what she likes etc. (Not too much time that I run the risk of getting friendzoned though, at least, not yet.)
Post edited December 11, 2012 by Nroug7
Posted December 11, 2012
I've found that "Hey, do you want to grab dinner/a movie/whatever sometime?" etc. works quite well. It's short enough that you an inject it into conversation easily, it's direct enough that it's clear that it'll be a date, but it doesn't use the "date" word. Some girls will gladly go on (multiple) actual romantic dates with you, but as soon as you say the D-word they get super-awkward.

I agree that you should start relatively simple. Those big romantic gestures that have clearly been well-planned in advance have a tendency to backfire in the early stages. You can also run into the "how come you never take me to the airport anymore" syndrome later once the relationship has matured.
Posted December 11, 2012
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Nroug7: I'm going to be honest here, I picked the park based on both of our hobbies and how they would mesh together, Since she is interested in a lot of the same stuff I figured that would be the best place.

I understand she is a person, and this is why I have spent a fair amount of time getting to know her and her hobbies, what she likes etc. (Not too much time that I run the risk of getting friendzoned though, at least, not yet.)
That's all fine and good and it sounds like you will be an excellent boyfriend but you're not there yet, you're moving too fast in your head. Trust me, I have been there and seen others go there. What you need to focus on right now is getting comfortable around her and making her comfortable around you so you can ask her straight up if she wants to do something as a not-friend.

Save the romantic shit for step two.
Posted December 11, 2012
Not well planned, lol, my town has no amusement parks so I guess a normal park will have to do, otherwise it's movies and there isn't many great restaurants in the town I live in. I see it as a simple choice (Movies would be a missed opportunity I feel for a first date, Not enough time for communication since you have to be silent during movies. Might work on a second date.)
And the Pokemon Idea was just a sudden Idea I came up with when I was playing pokemon white 2 earlier O_O Lol
Posted December 11, 2012
I don't think you have much to worry about. I don't have much to add, just be yourself, and be straightforward. The Pokemon thing is cute, but, as others have said, you may want to save that for more special occasions.
If you and this girl are meant to be, then it will happen naturally and you will just want to be together. So, ask first, and go from there. It sounds like it's a done deal, and for all we know, she is waiting for you to ask her out.
By the way, isn't the GoG community amazing?
Posted December 11, 2012
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bevinator: Some girls will gladly go on (multiple) actual romantic dates with you, but as soon as you say the D-word they get super-awkward.
There's too much commitment in the D-word and you are absolutely right about the big romantic gestures. They're just as awkward as the public proposals some guys seem intent on inflicting on their girlfriends.
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General discussion (archive)Stupid question, Looking for honest answers.(112 posts)(112 posts)
(112 posts)