I am in trouble. I desperately need to turn down a girl as politely as possible, without hurting her feelings and ruining our friendship. Here is the story:

I have girl who is studying in the same college with me, just so it happens that we are neighbors(she lives across the street). It all started when she offered me help to print some papers, since she has a printer and I don't. So from time to time I started coming over to print some papers and bringing her some ice cream in return. We drank coffee, talked about random stuff but never anything personal, we even watched movies a couple of times together with her friend and her teenage brother, also we often study together. We are good friends. Lately, she started acting a bit weird, I think she wants to get laid with me. She started asking stuff like if I want to stay a bit longer, or that it's okay that I sleep on the couch after we study together at night. I say no politely, that I should get back home, it seems she is sad about it but tries to hide it(makes a "serious" pokerface).

She is an average looking girl, not overweight, but I am absolutely not attracted to her. She is like a sister to me, I have two sisters so it's not strange for me to be friends with women. Also I am dating a girl for over an year, and she knows it, even met her a few times when we went together to the restaurant. I really like my girlfriend and god knows what would happen if I slept with her(the friend with with printer). She is a bit too overreacting sometimes, and sensitive person - I don't want to hurt her afterwards andI would not leave my girlfriend for her. Also, I don't want to buy a printer.

What should I do? It's getting really uncomfortable to come over her place :(

<span class="bold">Follow-up</span>

<span class="bold">The Finale</span>

I haven't had a girlfriend in 15 years and you want to know how to turn one down.

Okay.

I'm gonna go fill my pockets with rocks and jump into Lake Superior. Goodbye!

May I know why you do not want to buy a printer, 'cause to me that seems like one way to limit the frequency you two can meet.

Honesty is the best policy with these things. Just talk it out with her. It may be a tad awkward to bring up, but it's the best way to clear the air.

That or you could just tell her that you have a tiny penis. That ought to kill her interest.

Are you worried she's gonna off herself or something? I mean... If you're in a serious relationship and it's bothering you that much, just tell her the truth. That is unless you're trying to maintain a friendship. And even then you should tell her the truth. And if she's already interested as you think she is a true friendship is going to be hard to maintain. Dragging it out is only going to make things worse.

Because I don't want to buy just a printer, but one of these big-ass multifunctional devices, and there is no room for it in my small flat(my furniture sucks) also I prefer to stay mobile and ready to leave, since I rent a flat from an old witch.

"Also I don't want to buy a printer"

Heheh!

That cracked me up!

In all seriousness though, I've been through this a few times over the years. You're in a good place where you have a girlfriend and if push comes to shove make that CLEAR!

In the meantime, try to spend a little less time with her (not so much avoiding, as less contact) as that'd be the right thing to do by your lass!
If you make an attempt to talk it out, she sounds like the type who'd maybe flip / spread shit or do something mental. HEY! Save me some of the good chokewater down there will ya!

It's best to be honest and say something sooner rather than later. You don't want her hopes to get up or unintentionally mislead her, even though you've tried to send her signals you're not interested.

Since you're dating someone, you can tell your friend you really care about the girl you're seeing and that you're happy in that relationship.

Do NOT mention that you are not attracted to her. That could really hurt her, since she seems to be quite into you and sensitive about these things.

If she becomes upset or angry, just try to stay focused, let her know you care for her as a friend, but you aren't interested in or are unable to pursue a romantic relationship at this time.

Good luck!

Huh, I can't make heads or tails out of your post. Are you being nice or selfish? Do you want to be friends with her or just use her printer? Why do you bring up her attractiveness at all and even before mentioning you already have a girlfriend? Do you mean to say if she was more attractive to you, you would cheat on your girlfriend who you say you "really like" - not "love"? :/

You have a girlfriend. Use this. It's pretty straightforward. "I have a girlfriend, I'm with her, I love her, so you and me are just friends, and I would never harm her, betray her, let her down, in act or in thought. I am already taken." Etc etc. This is a valid reason, and a valid, neutral explanation. That she's kinda forced to respect.

The real problems arise when you're single, and wish to stay so. Or when your own couple is problematic. Because THEN it becomes difficult to explain how you don't see a relation develop sentimentally with her, without her to take it personally and get offended.

Both. I don't believe in love. It's too abstract for me, most overrated word ever. I am very attracted to my girlfriend however.

Damn edited this post 5 times, GOG forums really need "Preview Post" feature.

This is going to sound silly but you could do guy stuff around her, like picking your nose, belching, farting. She might find it repulsive but not so much that she won't wanna be friends with you, but it will definitely take you off her amorous list. That's one of the reasons I have lots of girls that are friends but it's been so long since I had a girlfriend, I refuse to clean up my act.

My god you sound like my best friend...

Not want get laid? Does not compute, does not... eeeh <spit> right, got that out of the system.

There is on possible way to avoid the pain. Hopefully she has enough moral fiber to get over the "just friends" part with no more than "at least I tried" afterthoughts. Not bloody likely. Worst case scenario, she gets emotionally shattered. Apocalyptic scenario: suicide attempts. Had a friend who looked like a cat went ballistic on her wrists some time after she got dumped by her boyfriend.

On the other hand, it's possible she isn't so emotionally invested in the first place, and you might be reading her wrong.

If someone has romantic intentions that you don't intend to reciprocate your only option is to distance yourself from them. You can't give some generic line about wanting to be "just friends"; this will only hide the feelings, not extinguish them.

Your first step is to buy your own printer, thus removing a key reason for going to her place. The next step is to explain that you have noticed how she has been acting around you but that you don't have those sort of feelings for her (having an existing girlfriend will help in this regard). You should then work towards reducing your interaction with her to the point where she is no longer a friend or perhaps even an acquaintance (physical proximity could make this more challenging, of course).

If you try to remain "friends" she may well continue pining for you in secret, hoping that you'll give her a chance one day etc. By reducing those ties she may find it easier to move on to someone who will reciprocate her intentions.

You'd think so, but consider how some women actually find themselves attracted to the "bad boy" who treats her like dirt. Being a jerk is not a guaranteed deterrent.