I'm in,thanks!

In for this please +1

Thanks for the giveaway

. Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?

Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

Count me in. Thanks and +1 for your generosity, Antimateria!

Also, a little promotion in the Giveaways' Directory:
http://www.gog.com/forum/general/how_does_one_make_a_gift_aka_gifting_on_gog_for_dummies/post558

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I'm going to post a joke about Finnish people (*running for the hills*):

Three Finnish brothers have gone fishing. It's early morning; they see the
sun rise over the horizon when the youngest brother says: "It doesn't seem like
the fish are biting"

They keep on fishing and around midday the middle brother states:
"It really doesn't seem like the fish are hungry"

Night is coming, and the sun is setting when the oldest brother angrily scoffs:
"Of course, the fish aren't biting when you just keep on chatting!"

Not entering but +1 rep for you .

count me in por favor, im dying to play homm3 but im broke.

why is Santa always so jolly
because he knows where all the naughty girls live

I'm in, too



an elf, a halfling and a dwarf are standing side-by-side at the urinal.

the elf finishes and proceeds to wash his hands. he is scrubbing and washing his hands clear up to his elbows. He turns to the other two and comments: our elders have taught us elves to be clean.

the halfling finishes his business and only used a little water to wet the tips of his fingers and comments: our elders have taught us halflings to be conservative of nature's resources.

the dwarf finishes his business and heads straight for the door, he turns and comments: our elders have taught us dwarves how not to piss on our hands.

I could be In but I can't think of any fun joke for now ;(

So there is this airplane from a cheap airline company called "Coconut Airlines" that's ready for a flight across the Atlantic.
Just before take off, the voice of the captain sounds (do funny voice):
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard. Please fasten seatbelts and be ready for take-off. We hope you will have a nice flight across the ocean. Thank you for flying Coconut Airlines."
So the plane takes off, and after a while the captain's voice (again, funny voice) sounds again:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. We are flying now at 10k heigth. You can now unfasten your seatbelts. Drinks and food will be served in a moment. Thank you for flying Coconut Airlines."
So everything goes quite normal, until suddenly: BANG! A loud explosion rocks the plane, everyone is flung all over the place, until after a while, everything seems to be okay again. Then the voice of the captain (yes, yes, still funny voice) sounds:
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. You may have noticed a small problem with left engine. It exploded. But is no big problem, we just use right engine. Thank you for flying Coconut Airlines."
So of course, people are a bit pale and nervous, but as everything seems okay, the flight continues. But then, suddenly, everything becomes quiet, and the plane starts to descent. And, wouldn't you know it, here's the voice of the captain (I'm not going to say it again):
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. We now also have small problem with right engine. It is not working any more. So we must make emergency landing on water. Please, all people who know how to swim, go to right side of plane. All people who not know how to swim, go to left side of plane. Thank you for flying Coconut Airlines."
So while the plane descents faster and faster, people inside of the plane all are trying to comply with the instructions. All swimmers try to get to the right side, while the non-swimmers go to the left. Chaos and confusion. Then, when all seems to be sorted, the plane hits the water and slowly starts to sink. One more time the captain's voice sounds:
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. We crashlanded on ocean. To all people on right side of the plane, who know how to swim, I say: SWIM!
To all people on left side of plane, who not know how to swim, I say: Thank you for flying Coconut Airlines!"

I'll give it a shot. Thank you!

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback sits at a traffic light next to a kid on a shiny new bike.

The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year, tell Santa to put a tail light on that bike."

The cop then issues the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the d**k underneath the horse, instead of on top."

I'm in.

Kim Jong-Un visited a commune farm, and saw a number of healthy pigs. Kim became pleased at the sight, and took a photo with the pigs.

The Rodong Shinmun [newspaper] had to carry the picture, and the editor agonized over the caption: "Hm... 'Comrade Kim Jong-Un stands with pigs.' No... 'Pigs with comrade Kim Jong-Un.' No..."

Finally, the caption on the newspaper said: "third from the left - Comrade Kim Jong-Un"

I'm in.

Here is a joke I found on this website with a bunch of jokes

One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.

The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."

I'll have a shot.
Thanks, and +1 for you.

Joke time:
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter -- is it Ms. Crunt?

Thank you very much!

I'm in with a big +1 for you.

Thanks, Antimateria! +1

I'd like to enter, too. :)

And here, a simple joke :

Teacher – What is the difference between a bird and fly?
Student – Well……a bird can fly……..but a fly can’t bird.