Banned for not watching John Carpenter's The Thing, which is very educational about how possible it is to make fire at the South Pole.

Banned for liking films which aren't 100% replication of original books!

Banned because in a better timeline, The Thing (2011) would get to show all the practical effects made for it; including the pilot, which is my favorite alien design of all time.

Banned for thinking that Pontius Pilate was an alien.

Banned for being uncovered as alien who hides existence of other aliens among humans.

Balled for revealing my secret.

^ banned for not putting out milk and cookies last night

Banned because Santa's Christmas Eve diet is grossly unbalanced enough to make anyone feel lactose-intolerant.

Banned because this Christmas I got a decent vacuum cleaner. What I'm most excited about is it has replaceable parts. I thought this concept has gone the way of the dinosaur.

Banned because your body also has replaceable parts.

^ banned for having a snap-on tool

Dude, a vacuum for Christmas? That gift really sucks!

Banned because last year I got an electric duster so I wouldn't have to buy so many cans of compressed air. That gift seriously blows.