Banned for assuming that HeresMyAccount's fetish is weird.

I ban all 4 of you for talking about a bondage fetish.

Banned for banning too many people in one post.

^ banned for not eating a good breakfast this morning

Banned for keeping your breakfast in your beard 'for later'.

Banned for telling us forum members such a disgusting practice. You would never do that right, Maenmeldir? You would never put food in your beard, right?..

Banned for believing that any self-respecting wizard would store fodder in his beard, especially with so many food-loving hobbits around, as one could never go hungry in their company

Banned because I apologize for believing in such nonsense.

Banned because he believes he has to apologize when he has done nothing wrong

Banned for banning a time-honoured practice. This is, after all, the way the Great Religions became successful.

Banned for believing any religion is great.

Banned for thinking that it was necessary to tell everyone through your forum title that you are an old user. We can see it from the date you joined, kind Sir/Ma'am.

Banned for overlooking the possibility that he/they could be residing in an old people's institution.
Banned for not seeing the implicit criticism. Also, for disregarding the cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Banned because it's affiliated with the Swimming Linguini Zombie.

Banned because the Swimming Linguini Zombie is just silly and made up, whereas the Flying Spaghetti Monster is absolutely as real as any god.

Edit: Just in case it's not clear, I'm being ironic.