^ Banned, for missing an unspecified deadline.

Banned because I sure miss that deadline; it had sentimental value for me.

banned, because your line is dead

Banned, because of your lying dad.

Banned, because you're a lying dead. You're not as threatening as the walking dead, not even close. Those living humans won't shove their heads to your mouth themselves.

Banned for not expecting food for little effort. This is after all the age of online food ordering and delivery, one finger, and your meal is ordered, paid for and delivered, though quality (of said food) is not guaranteed...

banned, for not insisting on a guarantee that all delivered food be tasty, salubrious, and of highest quality

Banned for not offering the guarantee.

^ banned, because you wrongly assumed that I am in the food service industry

Banned because I just assumed you were a prostitute.

Banned for not presenting evidence to constitute such a presumption.

Banned because HeresMyAccount just didn't want the person after him to ban him for the reason of typing too much.

banned, because you should not read HersMyAccount's mind, it is harmful to your mental well being

Banned for thinking that my account belongs to her as well.

Banned because your account doesn't belong to you anyway.