Banned, because a battery of heavy artillery firing salvos couldn't wake you up.

banned, for missing the clarion call

Banned for stealing Vingry's helmet.

EDIT: Banned for interrupting me!

^ banned, for being so easy to ninja

Banned because we were indeed on page 1666, no longer.

Banned because on page 1667, we are now.

Banned because I'll stop banning people when we get to page 42069.

Banned because page number is irrelevant: there are several options for post amount per page.

Banned for make the largest option mandatory and for not eliminating other options. If you're not viewing page 667 now, you should be banned.

Banned because pages are just leaves in a book, and a tree would be a better book to read...

Banned, for "barking" up the wrong tree. I say, tell your page to book it and just leaf it alone.

Banned for making like a tree.

Banned for the Back to the Future II reference...

banned, for reckless hover-board maneuvers

Banned because I think you're just jealous for not having a hoverboard. I'm pretty sure someone is willing enough to trade their hoverboard for your magic broom.

NO YOU MUSN'T! THIS BANNING COMMUNITY WILL BECOME LONELY WITHOUT THEIR ONLY RACCOON BANNING OFFICER!