Banned because he who smelt it dealt it, which applies here by analogy.

Banned, because every card your dealing's from the bottom of the pack and if I'd have known what you were dealing out I'd have dealt it back, you've got the Jack!

Banned for accusing me of having chlamydia.

Banned for not accepting such a gracious honor.

Banned because the holidays are officially over. Anyone who still has Christmas decorations up after today is going to jail.

Banned, because the sentence for that is ten months; at least they won't have to decorate when they are released

Banned for writing a sentence about a prison sentence.

Banned, because when you were an inmate the period was your favorite form of punctuation because it marked the end of your sentence

Banned, because I just noticed that you're not in the habit of properly ending your sentence with a period. That's not ok, man, are you an agent of the forces of chaos?

Good point. However, I need to ban you as your current existence will act as a reminder of how incompetent I was as a banning officer for not banning Hooyaah for the reason you mentioned.

Banned: too confusing at breakfast...

Banned for preferring to get confused at dinner.

Banned for presuming...

Banned in the name of happiness. Namely mine.

^ Banned, for schadenfreude

^ Banned, because a period is not called for at the end of a phrase