Banned for confusing a person with a word.

Banned, because everybody's heard about the bird, bird is a word

Banned, because almost everyone's seen a bird, bird is an animal.

Banned for not hearing about the Rocket To Russia.

I ban all birds from being words, and Hooyaah for making a Family Guy reference.

Banned for obstructing my view at a sporting event.

Banned, for wearing a ten-gallon hat at the theater

Banned for bringing 10 gallons of hot sauce from outside the theater when you're supposed to pay $800,000 for it at the concession stand.

Banned, for reminding us all about high prices and long lines for concessions at theaters. Wait, that feels better now, we no longer have to be sorry for them due to the fact that they have lost so much business due to the pandemic. Thank you for that, Michael.

^ **throws you a large popcorn with extra "buttery substance" and a box of Sour Gummy Worms**

EDIT: (I forgot to add the extra "buttery substance")

Banned for adding a buttery substance.

I ban dairy because it makes me fart.

Banned for not using this power to keep people at a distance. It's good for your health and your nerves.

Banned for being insensitive enough to not be aware of MichaelD.965's past of being left by his girlfriend due to his really smelly uncontrollable farts. But then again, if his girlfriend happened to be toxic, then it'd definitely be better for his health indeed.

Banned, for faulting we few faithful friends for flatus from free fried flautas

^ Banned, for condemnable and unreasonable use of alliterations.