Banned, because it's my duty but reinstated with honors for being "a good kitty"

Banned for being offline by the time I finally decided to ban you.

Banned for being online while you are getting banned.

Banned for making a post that lead to me discovering Tek War, that looks so cheesy-good.

Banned because I want to run a business where I cut coconuts in half, put some straps on them, and sell them as bras.

Edit: I'll also sell coconut jock straps, to protect your coco nuts.

Banned, for being cuckoo for coconuts

Banned because you've got two empty halves of coconut and you're banning them... I mean banging them together!

Banned for turning fruit in to percussion instruments.

Banned for possibly not getting the Monty Python reference.

Banned, because you should have posted a link

I ban you and your links!

Banned, for shunning the link and now it's "missing" again!

Banned because if someone gets lost and he's already missing, does that mean he's not missing anymore?

Banned because the answer is: if you're being chased and put a cardboard box over you right after you're out of sight, then you're not there.

Banned, because the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics would naturally imply that after a short period he would be simultaneously there and not there until he is uncovered and is then one or the other.