Banned because you cannot douse (with your staff or stick).

Banned, oh false king, from the hideous realm in which you dwell alone! For demanding tribute from they who have no obligation to serve you, I shall now show you what use I have for this staff!

Banned for using your staff in a lewd way.

Banned because Hooyah has used that staff on you :D.

Banned for picking fresh dollar bills from the money tree.

Banned for having a wallet full of dollar bills that smell a bit "fishy."

Banned for using coins with bite marks and calling them bitcoins.

Banned for using marijuana as an ingredient in your chicken pot pie, and your hash browns.

Banned for confusing hash browns and hash brownies

Banned for confusing duty with whim.

Banned for letting Winnie the Pooh play Call for Duty.

Banned for observing the irregulated irregularities regulated by Winnie the Pooh.

Banned because you just said that they're both irregulated and regulated (though I'm not sure irregulated is a word, but perhaps you meant irregular).

Banned for not being very intelligent at all.

... Says the underage loli cartoon, who drinks cheap spirits, like a third rate cowboy wannabe; JUST BANNED, you RAKE!