F4LL0UT: For the first time in my life I'm at a point where I have to turn down an offer that would be financially quite rewarding. Being a musician I was offered a chance to create arrangements for a professional singer who happens to be the boyfriend of a girl I met at university. She's a party girl who's dancing and drinking her brains out at clubs and he's one of those guys who "make" the music other people are dancing and drinking their brains out to. The offer didn't sound so bad although I was reluctant at first because a) I don't have any experience with that particular kind of music and b) I'd only be some guy who somehow helped him in the background - I'd actually compose and produce the music but since both regular people and the media are ignorant assholes he'd receive all the credit. Still, I'd get some money, more material in my portfolio and new connections. So I decided to do it. Then I started the research. It's a primitive and cheesy kind of music, stuff you will only find in Eastern Europe. But still, it's fun, I also enjoy the mood when this stuff plays at parties - so I told myself "cool, I'll do it, it'll be fun and I'll make money and perhaps get some additional attention - and technically it's gonna be a walk in the park". But I did one attempt, another one, then another one... it didn't sound right. I did some more research and another attempt... it sounded good but I didn't quite get the mood and style... and then something horrible occurred to me - my mind is unable to create this kind of stuff. Not because I don't have the skills, oh no... it's because my mind is forcing me to create GOOD music. And in order to create something that meets the requirements I'd have to create CRAP. I can create crap but I can't! I just can't give other people music I wouldn't want to sign with my name. I'd actually be ashamed for doing that kind of work, I couldn't look into the mirror anymore. Then I took another look at the professional stuff from this genre and I almost threw up. It occurred to me that not just the music is primitive, not just the culture is primitive, all the people involved are - and they infect other people with that idiocy. Not only do they live in a dreamworld where they are super attractive and super smart, they make other people want to be like them - uneducated stupid fucks who get pussy for acting like a monkey in front of a camera. They represent everything I hate in modern society. I'd rather bash these people's faces in than support them in any way. So tomorrow I'll proudly tell them what I think of them and that they better don't call me until they've grown out of their diapers.

strixo: Death closes all: but something ere the end, Some work of noble note, may yet be done, Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods. The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks: The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep Moans round with many voices. …Come, my friends, 'Tis not too late to seek a newer world. Push off, and sitting well in order smite The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths Of all the western stars, until I die. It may be that the gulfs will wash us down: It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles, And see the great Achilles, whom we knew. Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

DieRuhe: Thank you for not caving (unless you did, in which case you can disregard that) :-)

F4LL0UT: For the first time in my life I'm at a point where I have to turn down an offer that would be financially quite rewarding. Being a musician I was offered a chance to create arrangements for a professional singer who happens to be the boyfriend of a girl I met at university. She's a party girl who's dancing and drinking her brains out at clubs and he's one of those guys who "make" the music other people are dancing and drinking their brains out to. The offer didn't sound so bad although I was reluctant at first because a) I don't have any experience with that particular kind of music and b) I'd only be some guy who somehow helped him in the background - I'd actually compose and produce the music but since both regular people and the media are ignorant assholes he'd receive all the credit. Still, I'd get some money, more material in my portfolio and new connections. So I decided to do it. Then I started the research. It's a primitive and cheesy kind of music, stuff you will only find in Eastern Europe. But still, it's fun, I also enjoy the mood when this stuff plays at parties - so I told myself "cool, I'll do it, it'll be fun and I'll make money and perhaps get some additional attention - and technically it's gonna be a walk in the park". But I did one attempt, another one, then another one... it didn't sound right. I did some more research and another attempt... it sounded good but I didn't quite get the mood and style... and then something horrible occurred to me - my mind is unable to create this kind of stuff. Not because I don't have the skills, oh no... it's because my mind is forcing me to create GOOD music. And in order to create something that meets the requirements I'd have to create CRAP. I can create crap but I can't! I just can't give other people music I wouldn't want to sign with my name. I'd actually be ashamed for doing that kind of work, I couldn't look into the mirror anymore. Then I took another look at the professional stuff from this genre and I almost threw up. It occurred to me that not just the music is primitive, not just the culture is primitive, all the people involved are - and they infect other people with that idiocy. Not only do they live in a dreamworld where they are super attractive and super smart, they make other people want to be like them - uneducated stupid fucks who get pussy for acting like a monkey in front of a camera. They represent everything I hate in modern society. I'd rather bash these people's faces in than support them in any way. So tomorrow I'll proudly tell them what I think of them and that they better don't call me until they've grown out of their diapers.

pugsarecool: Well, went on my first date ever tonight. I took a girl that's been a friend of mine for awhile to a haunted house. It was cute and crap there, we held hands and stuff. But then it was over, and that's when it took a turn for the worst. My best friend (Nick) was with me, and the girl I took brought a friend of hers too. So it was over and I'm like "Well..what should we do?" and we decided on we'd go to the gas station and get energy drinks. Well we get there, I offer to buy her a drink/food. She declines, and her friend does instead...isn't that my job? I mean, I had plenty of money.. Oh but it gets better. We're leaving, and Rage Against the Machine comes on the radio. I love RATM, so I start singing along. Not singing bad, not singing loud, just loud enough so Nick and I could rock out. Then, it gets totally silent in the car except for the radio, and my date's friend says "Man, this guy is weird." ..Seriously? First off, you're in my car, and I don't care what you think, I'm not taking you on the date. So, we go over to the grocery store for whatever reason. We go in and get some candy, and before we leave I have to test my bloodsugar (Type 1 Diabetic). So, I start testing it, and my date's friend who had no problem blabbing constantly the whole ride just becomes completely silent, once again making it super awkward. So I just commented to Nick about Dokken being on the radio and how sweet they are. xD Lastly, we decided we'd go back to the haunted house to go through one more time. Well, they're closed. So, we pull over on the side of the road, and my date calls her Dad to pick her and her friend up. (Dunno why I couldn't just drive them home..) So, we're sitting there. Once again, the friend who had no problem blabbing to my date the whole time and calling me weird pretty much to my face, manages to go completely silent. It was probably one of the most awkward moments of my life. So, my date suggests we get out of the car and stand outside and wait (probably so we could hold hands or something), I was all for it. But nope, her friend says "Sorry, we're not doing that, I'm not some freak." To sum it up, her Dad picked them up and the texts afterward were super awkward. I hope everything just goes alright, I really like her, and I think she at least *liked* me. Sorry if I'm seeming over dramatic in this post, I just wanted it to go really good and it went really bad, and I just needed to get all this crap off my chest. If you read it all, thanks for reading and looking.

langurmonkey: You have my respect. Most people sell their souls for a little bit money nowadays. It is pathetic. But you didn't.

F4LL0UT: Glad other people think so but let's get real: maybe not doing something for such an abstract reason while money is scarce is just stupid. My GF certainly didn't think well of that decision and even when I explained my reasons and she said "okay" I knew that she didn't agree (but don't mistake her for a person who'd do anything for some money). Well, let's hope that I will be rewarded for my standards at some point.

nijuu: Oh shite Windows 8 is being or was released :/.

SimonG: Yup, buying it in a few hours!

Can't wait!

nijuu: Oh shite Windows 8 is being or was released :/.