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General discussionRelease: No Pineapple Left Behind(133 posts)(133 posts)
(133 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted February 18, 2016
A cultivated student is the perfect fertilizer for society's growth. Or something.



<span class="bold">No Pineapple Left Behind</span>, a playful insight into the fruitless methods of modern education management, is available now DRM-free on GOG.com for Windows, Mac, and Linux, with a 10% launch discount.

Do you remember that kid from junior high who reminded you of a pineapple? Always eager to please the teacher, sit quietly through classes, take tests, and compare grades? For a school principal, this is the stuff of dreams. But because life is a cruel hag, he is usually stuck with *human* children instead. Ugh. Well, thankfully, this travesty is finally coming to an end!

See, running a school is no child's play. The little devils are unruly, demanding, unpredictable beings. But pineapples express no desires and exhibit no tendencies towards insubordination. Good grades and unquestionable obedience are profitable for the school, so as a sensible businessman, your job is to turn children into pineapples and not ever let them change back. Some parents may raise concerns and you've also got the teacher's work schedules, the students' curriculums, and the needs of your staff to manage, but with spells like "Trigonomancy" at your disposal, this should be easier than reciting the alphabet. It starts with a "p", right?



Weed out the bothersome students and fill your buzzing classrooms with compliant fruit in the satirical manager/simulation <span class="bold">No Pineapple Left Behind</span>, DRM-free on GOG.com. And if you enjoy the whimsical sound of studious pineapples, make sure to also grab the game's <span class="bold">OST</span>. The 10% launch discount will last until February 25, 4:59 PM GMT.
Posted February 20, 2016
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DancingEngie: Thanks. Since only one team member has a Mac computer (not a notebook), it's been hard verifying the game functions on Macs. The fact that Unity has really obnoxious Mac/Linux bugs doesn't help.
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rampancy: I've already emailed Seth about this, but could these links help shed further light on this issue?

http://forum.unity3d.com/threads/full-screen-stretching.290117/
http://forum.unity3d.com/threads/webplayer-wrong-aspect-ratio-when-in-fullscreen.248829/
I'm not a Unity programmer, at least not a very good one, so I can't really help you with issues concerning it. Good news is we got your email and we're currently examining the Mac bug.
Post edited February 20, 2016 by DancingEngie
Posted February 20, 2016
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drealmer7: just because someone is a democrat doesn't mean they're not conservative/serving a conservative agenda
Pretty much this. And that's not a "conspiracy". Conspiracies are for people who think that the moon landings were faked.
Post edited February 20, 2016 by rampancy
Posted February 20, 2016
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drealmer7: just because someone is a democrat doesn't mean they're not conservative/serving a conservative agenda
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rampancy: Pretty much this. And that's not a "conspiracy". Conspiracies are for people who think that the moon landings were faked.
NCLB is distinctly anti-conservative. Big government, etc.

Sidenote: The neoconservatives who have controlled the Republican Party for several decades aren't very conservative. The progressives who control the Democratic Party aren't very liberal. They're both authoritarians.
Posted February 20, 2016
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subalterngames: This is all mostly accurate.
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SeduceMePlz: No, it isn't. No Child Left Behind had near-unanimous bipartisan support.

Two of the bills four co-authors were Democrats, and two were Republicans.

In the House of Representatives, 197 Democrats and 186 Republicans voted "yes", while 10 Democrats and 34 Republicans voted "no".

In the Senate, the bill passed 91 to 8. Democrats and Republicans again nearly unanimously supported the bill, with only 2 Democrats and 6 Republicans voting "no".

Also, support for No Child Left Behind has declined for the better part of a decade. With strong bipartisan support (in the House, 359 yes - 64 no; in the Senate, 85 yes - 12 no), President Obama signed the Every Student Succeeds Act into law on December 10, 2015, returning some power to the States (but retaining standardized testing requirements).

Libertarians warned from the start that No Child Left Behind was a terrible idea. Democrats and Republicans, socialism and facism, are two sides of the same authoritarian coin (see The Road to Serfdom; read the pdf version for free at mises.org).

Read more about NCLB and ESSA at Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Child_Left_Behind_Act

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Every_Student_Succeeds_Act

Also:

http://reason.com/tags/education
What a fucking know it all loser.... Feel better loser? Make sure you dont strain yourself patting yourself on the back and dont forget to miss the forest for the trees. Dumbass...
Posted February 21, 2016
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Skabb15: What a fucking know it all loser.... Feel better loser? Make sure you dont strain yourself patting yourself on the back and dont forget to miss the forest for the trees. Dumbass...
Absolutely out of line. If you want to add something of value to the conversation, get rid of the attitude. We can disagree and talk about these issues without the pointless and vapid ad hominem attacks.
Post edited February 21, 2016 by rampancy
Posted February 21, 2016
So, if I understand the set up correctly, "if you study in school - you're not human, you're a pineapple". Hmm... I guess the sequel will be: "If you work on your job - you're not human, you're a banana".
Posted February 21, 2016
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SeduceMePlz: No, it isn't. No Child Left Behind had near-unanimous bipartisan support.

Two of the bills four co-authors were Democrats, and two were Republicans.

In the House of Representatives, 197 Democrats and 186 Republicans voted "yes", while 10 Democrats and 34 Republicans voted "no".

In the Senate, the bill passed 91 to 8. Democrats and Republicans again nearly unanimously supported the bill, with only 2 Democrats and 6 Republicans voting "no".

Also, support for No Child Left Behind has declined for the better part of a decade. With strong bipartisan support (in the House, 359 yes - 64 no; in the Senate, 85 yes - 12 no), President Obama signed the Every Student Succeeds Act into law on December 10, 2015, returning some power to the States (but retaining standardized testing requirements).

Libertarians warned from the start that No Child Left Behind was a terrible idea. Democrats and Republicans, socialism and facism, are two sides of the same authoritarian coin (see The Road to Serfdom; read the pdf version for free at mises.org).

Read more about NCLB and ESSA at Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Child_Left_Behind_Act

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Every_Student_Succeeds_Act

Also:

http://reason.com/tags/education
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Skabb15: What a fucking know it all loser.... Feel better loser? Make sure you dont strain yourself patting yourself on the back and dont forget to miss the forest for the trees. Dumbass...
Didn't I go to high school with you? :P

How is life as a gym teacher anyway?
Posted February 23, 2016
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yogsloth:
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mrkgnao: Thanks.

Have you read "The Hare and The Pineapple" and its six questions (http://usny.nysed.gov/docs/the-hare-and-the-pineapple.pdf; takes a while to load, but does eventually)? What do you think about it?
Hey Meeyow-

Sorry for the delay. Just getting to this now, and unfortunately I can't get the link to load. I'd love to read that actual passage (and probably laugh just like everybody else). Anybody know if it's found anywhere else? Google ain't showing me the exact passage anywhere.

[EDIT] Found it. Gimmie a sec.
Post edited February 23, 2016 by yogsloth
Posted February 23, 2016
Well, this gets more interesting.

Here is the passage that caused all the controversy:
In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me. There was a lovely enchanted forest that flourished with a bunch of these magical animals. One day, a hare was relaxing by a tree. All of a sudden, he noticed a pineapple sitting near him.

The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, "Um, hi." The pineapple could speak English too.

"I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime's supply of toothpaste!" The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.

The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees. The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way.

Everyone on the sidelines was bustling about and chatting about the obvious prediction that the hare was going to claim the victory (and the ninja and the toothpaste). Suddenly, the crow had a revolutionary realization.

"AAAAIEEH! Friends! I have an idea to share! The pineapple has not challenged our good companion, the hare, to just a simple race! Surely the pineapple must know that he CANNOT MOVE! He obviously has a trick up his sleeve!" exclaimed the crow.

The moose spoke up.

"Pineapples don't have sleeves."

"You fool! You know what I mean! I think that the pineapple knows we're cheering for the hare, so he is planning to pull a trick on us, so we look foolish when he wins! Let's sink the pineapple's intentions, and let's cheer for the stupid fruit!" the crow passionately proclaimed. The other animals cheered, and started chanting, "FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN!"

A few minutes later, the hare arrived. He got into place next to the pineapple, who sat there contently. The monkey blew the tree-bark whistle, and the race began! The hare took off, sprinting through the forest, and the pineapple ...
It sat there.

The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race — but it knew it couldn't walk (let alone run)!

About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged.

The animals ate the pineapple.

1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl
You'll notice the passage itself is not only abject nonsense, but is actually written in fragmented, broken English.

That doesn't add up. It doesn't pass the smell test.

Let me keep digging here.
Post edited February 23, 2016 by yogsloth
Posted February 23, 2016
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yogsloth:
You have the wrong version. The correct one mentions the owl, for the example.
Posted February 23, 2016
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yogsloth:
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mrkgnao: You have the wrong version. The correct one mentions the owl, for the example.
Yeah, this is confusing.

Do you have a working link to the "real" passage, with questions?

Time magazine has an article talking about how the controversy was sparked over what was essentially a faked passage, but they don't have the real one either.
Posted February 23, 2016
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mrkgnao: You have the wrong version. The correct one mentions the owl, for the example.
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yogsloth: Yeah, this is confusing.

Do you have a working link to the "real" passage, with questions?

Time magazine has an talking about how the controversy was sparked over what was essentially a faked passage, but they don't have the real one either. <a href="http://www.gog.com/forum/general/release_no_pineapple_left_behind_7bf92/post116" class="link_arrow"></a></div> This link ([url=http://usny.nysed.gov/docs/the-hare-and-the-pineapple.pdf]http://usny.nysed.gov/docs/the-hare-and-the-pineapple.pdf) is the only one I found that gives the correct text and questions. It loads for me. It just takes a lot of time.
Posted February 24, 2016
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mrkgnao: This link (http://usny.nysed.gov/docs/the-hare-and-the-pineapple.pdf) is the only one I found that gives the correct text and questions. It loads for me. It just takes a lot of time.
So it took about ten minutes, but yes it finally loaded.

I am so annoyed with everyone in the world.

So I read the passage and answered the six questions.

According to answer keys found online, I got them all right. And it wasn't difficult. Granted, I'm a bit above the intended grade level, and as mentioned used to this kind of thing professionally, but I must tell you it is astonishing how much of a tempest in a teapot this is.

The passage itself was a bit silly and nonsensical, yes, but it was reasonably written for the task it needed to accomplish: to test on basic reading comprehension. I don't remember seeing what grade level this was for, but I would guess about 6th.

In my opinion, one of the six questions was weak (#7) because it requires a bit of a logical extension beyond what is explicitly mentioned in the passage. I'd be willing to bet quite a high percentage of test takers got one particular answer. (No spoilers here in case you all want to do it yourselves.) The rest of the questions clearly had one and only one correct answer.

Summary: It's not high literature, and probably not the most shining example of the profession, but it gets the job done.

All of the controversy - all of it - seems to stem from the fake passage copied above. It's a viral rumor gone foul. Somewhere out there, somebody still thinks Procter & Gamble give money to the church of Satan, somebody else thinks they drilled a hole to hell in Siberia, and somebody else thinks "The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, "Um, hi." The pineapple could speak English too. "

We just had this thread a week ago on Justice Scalia, where somebody took one of his opinions on the technical limitation of the appeals process and decided "He's advocating murdering innocent people! He's evil!" It's the Internet rushing into the pool to cast judgement on what turns out to be flat-out lies.

Again, I don't know enough about any one particular educational program, but I know trying to educate millions of children who face a myriad of non-scholastic challenges in an economical, technically feasible fashion is no day at he boardwalk. If you want to criticize NCLB I'm sure it can be done intelligently.

Pineapples ain't it.

(It should be noted, however, that maybe this particular game is truly fun and stands on its own. I'm not saying I would never buy it. After all, I can still enjoy From Enslavement to Obliteration without being a left-wing-anarchist-crust-punk, you know?)
Posted February 24, 2016
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yogsloth:
I pretty much agree with your entire assessment.

I actually enjoyed the piece and laughed quite a bit, but I'm a sucker for folktales. I too think it's a reasonable piece of fiction and the questions are reasonable too, although probably not for the intended grade (8th grade). I'd say more like 10-12th grade material, but I'm not parent or a teacher so I might be off here.

And as you said, it all boils down to a poorly-researched rush-job of a news article.
Post edited February 24, 2016 by mrkgnao
Posted February 24, 2016
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yogsloth: In my opinion, one of the six questions was weak (#7) because it requires a bit of a logical extension beyond what is explicitly mentioned in the passage. I'd be willing to bet quite a high percentage of test takers got one particular answer. (No spoilers here in case you all want to do it yourselves.) The rest of the questions clearly had one and only one correct answer.
I would say that #8 was very weak too, because it depends on what you consider "wise". For me the wisest sentence in the whole nonsensical story was spoken by the hare ("You aren't even an animal! You're a tropical fruit!"), because it was a correct statement and could have ended the race and the debate before the senseless discussion of the other animals even started. But for the test it would've been the wrong answer.
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This is my favourite topic
Community
General discussionRelease: No Pineapple Left Behind(133 posts)(133 posts)
(133 posts)