Partially granted: The Electoral College votes for Hillary Clinton to become president, and she does the things that you say (minus the Killary part).

(The scenario of the EC voting Clinton as the next president is unlikely, but not impossible; occasionally an elector will vote a way different from the way he pledged, but it has never affected the results of an election before.)

I wish for the next male Link to wear a full length dress. (After all, Link has been known to wear a tunic in previous Zeldas, including Ocarina of Time, where it's actually an item in your inventory.)

Granted. Link wears Zelda's dress, and consequently Zelda has to wear Link's tunic. They look quite silly, but hey, who's judging?

I wish for GOG to secure the rights to sell the entire Commander Keen series.

Granted, but they become so keen they sell it below cost and go broke.

I wish I had a tail like my dog so I can wag it and groom it.

Granted, you get a 4inch natural bobtail.

The only thing I wish for is free of financial debts...

OK. You're a dog now.

I wish for 2016 to be over ... quickly.

Granted. The vote is re-counted, and Giant Meteor emerges as the winner and wipes out Earth. As a result, there is no longer a year 2016, as there are no humans left to call it that.

I wish for Lennus 2 to see an official English translation and release.

Granted, but it was a poor translation and subsequently renamed Anus 2.

I wish I had two anuses (the plural of anuses should be anui, like fungi).

Seems something went wrong with your wish, and you now have 2 vaginas instead, complete with periods that are not in sync with one another.

I wish for a do-over of this month.

Whoops instead a month we're back in 2015 because I forgot to reset the date from the last do over.

You also forgot to wish.

I wish people would stop doing that.

Granted: Everybody now starts doing this instead.

I wish for Civilization 3 to be released on gog.com.

Um.. granted. Nothing to corrupt here, apparently.

I wish people would read the news before making wishes.

Wish granted, but the news cost a bit more money. Information has its price, too!

I wish ISIL to be done away with; enough already!

Actually, I did read the news before making the wish.
Granted, all right wing groups in the entire world, along with all their supporters, have been eradicated, resulting in a massive drop in the world's population.

KiNgBrAdLeY7, of course, is one of the casualties of this wish.

I wish for remakes of Ultima 8 and 9 that allow for all the races and genders available in Ultima 3 to be playable. (Ultima 3 has 5 playable races and 3 genders; Ultima 8 and 9 have only one of each.)

Granted, however it's only released as DLC and is expensive, would've been cheaper to just get gender reassignment surgery.

I wish I was a talented surgeon and could operate on the pubis region.