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I downloaded the 3.0 hotfix 1 patch from the "offline installers" tab and the darn thing
says it's corrupted and won't install.

Has this happened to anyone else, or am I just lucky?
It was the same for me. I just downloaded the complete installer again instead. I should have known to wait after the 3.0 release, as they always have to patch something critical after a big release.
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UsernameTaken2: It was the same for me. I just downloaded the complete installer again instead. I should have known to wait after the 3.0 release, as they always have to patch something critical after a big release.
Ah, well. There you go then.

I ended up having to grab the full install as well.