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Works on the Windows 7 Laptop but doesn't work on the Windows XP Desktop.
.midi files are working for other stuff if that could be the issue (I honestly don't know though)
It's not a game breaking problem, it's just bothersome.

Sorry for the double post but it appears I forgot to mark the first one as a "Problem".
This question / problem has been solved by DeMignonimage
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TrueWOPR: Works on the Windows 7 Laptop but doesn't work on the Windows XP Desktop...
Maybe the midi sound device is muted or a wrong default device is selected.

Go to your Control Panel and open Sounds and Audio devices (see screenshot).

Check what your system uses as default midi device. The Microsoft GS Wavetable SW Synth should work.
Now check the corresponding Volume button. Make sure "Mute" below SW Synth isn't ticked and set the volume to a medium level.
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Thank you, I'll be darned the problem was that SW Synth was turned all the way down for some reason. I probably panicked because I was having lots of sound issues with lots of other stuff as well. (None of them were as easy to fix though). Thank you for your help :)
You're welcome. Mine was muted as well ;-)