Here's that mod :
https://www.nexusmods.com/pathfinderkingmaker/mods/109

And here's an article on it & some other quality of life improvements :
https://www.pcgamer.com/make-pathfinder-kingmakers-combat-turn-based-with-this-mod/
While I think the answer to your question is "no", there is the mod I posted above which makes it turn-based & seems to strictly enforce the rules from the PNP game, including 5-foot-steps etc. I FAR prefer turn-based myself & am familiar with the PNP game, & this mod makes the game look MUCH more enticing to me.

Just want to note, there is a mod to make combat turn-based. My husband has similar (if less vehement) views as you but adores Pathfinder, and was thrilled to find it. He's enjoying the results.

So exactly the same as every other realtime game including Doom, Diablo, Portal, Postal, Quake, Descent, The Binding od Isaac, Commander Keen, Sim City, Tropico, Half-Life, Sonic The Hedgehog, Super Mario Brothers, Mario Kart, Dark Forces, Elder Scrolls, Party Hard, GTA, Dungeon Keeper, War For The Overworld, Evil Genius, Wolfenstein, Ratchet And Clank, Wonderboy, Devil May Cry, and really pretty much every real-time game ever made.

I really don't understand why people keep acting like the ability to pause somehow makes it not realtime when EVERY REAL-TIME GAME HAS THE ABILITY TO PAUSE

When you pause you are able to issue commands to your party, manage your inventory, check your journal, and scroll the map. Which is something you aren't allowed to do in Doom, Diablo, Portal, Postal, Quake, Descent, The Binding od Isaac, Commander Keen, Sim City, Tropico, Half-Life, Sonic The Hedgehog, Super Mario Brothers, Mario Kart, Dark Forces, Elder Scrolls, Party Hard, GTA, Dungeon Keeper, War For The Overworld, Evil Genius, Wolfenstein, Ratchet And Clank, Wonderboy, and Devil May Cry.

Try pausing in Dark Souls, then.

I'm pretty sure you can issue orders while paused in several of those, particularly Sim City and Tropico

The point is that for some gamers, this is not a trivial question. It is information that tells some gamers whether they can play the game or not.

The even broader point is that every gamer is different from every other gamer. With different abilities and different disabilities. You should not expect to agree with everyone or even to understand everyone.

There is a turn based mod that works incredibly well and makes the game very playable. I recently bought it on sale when I found out about the mod.

It even has a turn order gauge! The only reason I play this game now is this mod.

https://www.nexusmods.com/pathfinderkingmaker/mods/109