Not the problem.

Thank you so much. I followed the instructions on the thread you referenced. What specifically helped was the instruction to "analyze wait chain" and then close the application stalling the execution of KODP. The file, in my case, that was stalling KODP's execution was user.exe. When I ended that process, KODP automatically loaded and I was able to begin playing the game.

Once again Gydion, thank you so much for your help.

Cheers.

Made the problem a little easier to fix for you guys:

I'm running Windows 10 Pro x64, didn't need to set any compatibility flags (can use force 640x480 for fullscreen though)

Step 1: Run game
Step 2: Open Taskmanager, find the game's executable named "KoDP.exe"
Step 3: Right click on game and press "Analyze Wait Chain"
Step 4: Underneath the game's exe you'll find program(s) that are causing KoDP.exe to stall before launching.
Step 5: Checkmark the box under the game's exe and hit end process
Step 6: Repeat steps 3-5 until the game boots up.

Images showing steps 3-5
i.imgur.com/BtJQcUq.png
i.imgur.com/O70wG8u.png

Makes finding the programs this game hates much easier than trial and error.
More me, it was SearchUI.exe, Skype.exe, and Cortanna.