Flyby: Personal notes on normal:
At the very beginning:
Produce 1 trader, upgrade the factories
Process basic materials into intermediate
At the beginning:
Court 2-3 minor powers, preferably the ones not bordering to another great power. Continue to buy up their stock (or at least one). More is overkill because your developer only has one action each turn.
Preferred materials: coal, iron, timber, cotton
Check dealbook, military ranking each turn.
Military ranking: don't be the weakest, usually when a major gets its first colony or start a war. Very important
Navy first, land later. Preferred army: 2-4 scouts (quick cannonfodder), the rest of the army: mobile artillery
Leave one space open in battles so units can retreat instead of surrender. Unit fights till the green bar is gone
Don't sell your stock all at once (lowers prices)
Don't defend the weakest major power (not fun when they gradually start declaring war with you instead)
Sign defend pacts with your minors (requires embassady)
Subsidy: usually 10-25%. Remember, you still have to make a profit.
Next industrial revolution:
Steel/Coal/Arms is more important. Timber loses importance due ironclads.
Majors powers more triggerhappy.
There are usually 2 minor powers that have been neglected.
My preferred early game strategy is to start with a country that has a lot of wood or scrub timber. I build all of my factories and two Indiamen. If I have lots of fruit and farms, I forgo an agriculturalist for a while, as my rail connections will bring in lots of food. If I have no cotton fields, again, I have little need for a farm worker to begin. If I have access to plenty of wood, I look for two or three minors that have all four of: iron, coal, cotton and wool. This means I can tender for all four materials of which I am short and at the same time improve my relations. I establish two to four trade consulates first turn, then I build two embassies in the most desirable minors ASAP and make pacts. After a while, I may have enough cash to open a third embassy.
Your idea of trying to establish relations with minors that do not border a major power is quite astute. As they do not share a land border, they are more resistant to early invasion. I try to build at least two frigates when I can, simply so I can transport the one artillery and two regulars with which the game starts. These frigates can also protect your merchants if you are unfortunate enough to be attacked early on, before you can start building ships of the line and raiders.
I also prefer to start with an island power, or at least not share a land border with another major. If I share with a minor nation, I use one of either of these strategems: if they have resources that I need, I court them fervently. If I can convert it into a colony, I have some protection of my border. If they have resources that I need and there are no minors nearby whom I am courting, I may go to war early in the game simply to secure "lebensraum." I am not strong enough to take the capital, but usually I take three of the four provinces and box him into his capital. If that capital province has no resources, the other majors will usually ignore it.
The downside to attacking a minor at the outset is that you will have to increase your subsidies to those you court. It can be an expensive stratagem, but it can increase security of an island power that has land neighbours.
At a certain point in the game, and you can almost tell when that tingling begins behind your neck, the other majors will start picking off the minors. I consult the diplomacy screen at the beginning of every turn. Doing so will inform you on the turn that a power is declaring war against a minor [or you!] and give you a last second warning. You have that initial turn to move your ships and soldiers about. Sometimes I take advantage of this declaration of war against a minor by moving my navy to its shore. If I declare war the same turn [or wait until the following turn to see if a major intervenes] then I can "bum rush" that minor and get ashore before the declaring power. It feels nice to eat someone else's lunch.
Another tactic I sometimes employ is to build a second builder on the first turn. With two builders, you can lay track twice as fast. This is useful for traversing lengthy tracts of land. I may not build depots at the same time, but sometimes I lay track with the intention of building the depots later. This can speed up the linking of your resources with your capital long before you come under attack. I especially employ this tactic if my resources are at a distance from my capital city, which can happen if you have one of those long, skinny countries. Getting track from one end of the country to the other makes you rather immune to blockades of resources that are only connected by port early in the game.
Keep an eye on your allies. They can drag you into wars that you would rather avoid. I believe in making alliances and generally stick by them, but not if they become suicide pacts. You may have a weak ally who declares war on a power that is rated "good" or "excellent" in the military category. You and he may have several other allies together and that gives him confidence to bite off more than he can chew. You may think that your allies will band together, so you go for it. Next thing you know, they abandon you and now you are married to a weakling who soon sues for peace and now you are trying to play Rambo against the USSR when you have the resources of Nicaragua.
So, watch those allies. Another idea to consider is if you wish to beat up on one power, but you don't want your buddies to come along with you and gobble up provinces you wish to acquire. If you declare, then they may as well and next thing you know, there are landings by several other powers and those resource-rich provinces for which you went to war now belong to your allies. What to do? Here is a trick some of you may not be aware of:
On the diplomacy screen, declare war on your ally or allies, and immediately remove the declaration of war. Exit the diplomacy screen and then re=enter the diplomacy screen and you will now see that you are no longer allies. This breaks your alliances without actually going to war with your allies. The cost of this will of course be an alliance, but it can sometimes result in your former ally or allies being less friendly to you. But hey, you are El Grande Jefe. That's why you make the big bucks, to make those big decisions. If it all works out well, you get to have exclusive access to your next victim, until the other sharks decide to bum rush the proned out body. But usually they will wait a few turns until you have done the lion's share of wearing down the armed forces of your victim.