Chicago? Eesh. What's it like living near like, what's it now, five nuclear power plants? Your Polish sausage dogs smothered in onions make up for it. Anyway, the problem with speaking to overseas tech support isn't that I can't understand them. The guy who owns the closest liquor store is from Bombay, and I always end up chatting with him for thirty minutes to an hour. No, the problem is that the guys overseas don't understand some of my mannerisms and articulations, and so the majority of the time spent on the phone is explaining the problem I'm having.

Living "out in the Wild" is relative. I'm only a fifteen minute drive from Myrtle Beach. It's just that my house is situated on a plot of "undeveloped" land (read: swamp/wetlands that the Army Corps of Engineers say can't be disturbed), and it would cost $20K just to run a cable or fiber-optic line out here. Hell, it cost $5K just to get the local electric co-op to run a power line out. There's a Post Office and two supermarkets, three petrol stations, multiple restaurants (one of them Chinese, and it's "Hong Kong" Chinese), the aforementioned liquor stores, and a garbage drop-off all within ten miles.