until they finally

died of dysentery.

And then Jesus

Descended from clouds

on a Harley

loaner from Satan

This is my attempt at reviving a long deceased thread that had slipped into the gaping maw of the abyss many moons ago...

I've also taken the liberty of transcribing the incoherent babble that is this story with a few minor corrections in spelling and grammar. I tried to come up with some sort of paragraph structure as well to make it easier to read, but....well, it is what it is.

So here's the story so far:


She was named Betty the Third and was a self-righteous woman. One day, late after playing baseball she met a drunk, [like a] GOG.com developer saying "Games for you!!!!". Betty was like "I wanted flowers!!!", the the developer had too much game disks in his van. However, in the desert, game disks are hidden under rocks. This helps DRM, which is obviously comparable to a pirate with no rum in his underpaid job.[?]

His mighty beard was really itchy because he slept not enough to realize that his leg was eaten by a huge Grue! Then, one day the Grue peed on Betty's leg. He previously ate some delicious SPAM covered in delicious brake fluid afterthe gazebo entered and wondered why it was personified...

Suddenly he thought Betty was hot, but being a Ken Doll, he lacked some parts in his anatomy what makes him once a maaaaan, but now a famous plastic surgeon will transform him in[to] a marvelous pigeon.[?] Which reminds him of warts he had as a child in the gog beta. The other beta testers flogged him thoroughly...with a dead fish named Wanda who liked to download tons of completely legitimate MP3s and rock all the casbahs, like the mighty Clash. So he went clubbing, where he well...She, actually, tried to drink one entire bottle of crude oil fresh from Iraq while she tried to change sexual habits of a lifetime.

Somehow the grue managed to convince her to use securom, which is poisonous to all, except Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Sarah Palin, who Betty believed to be a nutcase, with a twist. Betty shrugged and strutted, looking fly and seeking attention but no one saw her MySpace with pictures of naked angry Nords and fake gigaboobs. All the while, the developer looked increasingly disturbed.

A fish and a securom fanboy started to argue over who sucks more. The fish stank almost as much as a dancing frog in a sewer. The fanboy farted, poisoning many insects to much regret. Fish was killed making awesome sushi, with DRM inside....What makes fly a Supaah Fly!!! "Oh, my God!" He exclaimed loudly, with much hand-waving, to get attention and fell over his own little left toe. Then hit the ground with an "oomph!", destroying Western Asia. (0_o)

Meanwhile the stone was contemplating the demise of Betty. He would rape the cheese with a rusty wooden trombone from Sanchez the angry trumpeter that is entirely made of cheesecake. But the bird flew due south just to meet the bird that sings la Macarena on karaoke night. Bird was called, but the party was so exceptional that people talked about the events over and over until they finally died of dysentery. And then Jesus descended from [the] clouds on a Harley that was a loaner from Satan...


...singing Crazy Train

when he suddenly

burst into flames.

. To his dismay

burning did hurt